the boys

the boys

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


I don't know what it is about voicemails but they send me into some sort of freakish panic. First of all, don't you think we are all aware of the process by now? Is it really necessary for every single answering machine and voicemail to instruct us on when and what do to? I mean seriously, I think we've mastered this one!

So as soon as the whole message thing gets started I get distracted by the other 150 things I'm doing and by the time it gets to the "BEEP" I have lost my train of thought. Oh crap, who was I calling???? I'll just start talking and leave the general message and maybe it will come to me. "Hey, this is Gwen" (should I be leaving my last name or am I calling someone that knows me well??). Sometimes I get brave and throw out the ol' "hey it's me" as if everyone should realize who I am just by hearing my voice. I usually remember who I'm calling about half way through.

And I always feel obligated to leave the date and time that I am calling. Like they are tracking me to see if I in fact called at the very time I said I did. And what if I say "about 10:30" when really it's only 10:20 and I was just too lazy too look at the clock so I rounded off? And then I'm thinking what if they get the message at 10:25 and they wonder why the hell I said it was already 10:30 when it's clearly not!

And then (as if the person listening to the message even cares) I feel the need to rattle off exactly what I am doing and my entire schedule for the day in case this person wants to try to call me back.

And speaking of calling me back, this part is the absolute WORST. I never know how to end the message without sounding desperate. "So call me when you think about it" (which obviously they will be thinking about it when they call! DUH!) or "if you get some time, just give me a call" (desperate and bossy!) or "I'll just talk to you when you call me" (ummmm OBVIOUS) or "just call me sometime and we'll catch up" (PLEASE! it's like I'm a 16 year old girl) or "I'll catch up with you sometime this week" (stalker!).

Then I hang up and play it back in my mind which only causes greater embarrassment. As my friend Rosie once said "MOVE ON...JUST MOVE ON." And so I do.

1 comment:

  1. funny! the "call me back" part gets me too. and then after all that, how many people do you know who actually even listen to the voicemail? personal vm, that is, not professional. it seems like most people i know don't listen to it, they just call back when they see the missed call. all that work for nuthin'! :)