the boys

the boys

Saturday, June 12, 2010

The motto

A little over 3 years ago I came up with my motto. It's pretty simple. "It's not wrong, it's just different." It means that the way others do and see things is not wrong, it's just different than how I do or see them.

I came up with it when I was bedridden at the hospital for 3 weeks prior to my oldest son's birth. And let me tell you, EVERYONE handles that differently! And I had nothing to do but sit around and think about how everyone was reacting. I seriously spent about 90% of those 3 weeks by myself in a hospital room. What else was I going to do? I did a lot of thinking. And sleeping. And watching TV. And doing paperwork for work. And playing Sudoku. And more thinking.

And I started getting a little cranky about how people were responding. I have a bit of an issue with wanting to be in control and I had absolutely no control over that entire situation. People that I wanted to visit didn't. People that I didn't particularly care to see in that situation stopped by. The only way that I found peace was to recognize that everyone handles things differently. So I learned to forgive the ones that didn't stop by and really appreciate the people that took time out of their busy schedules to come by and try to break up the never ending days of bed rest. When I look back now I realize that there were tons of really generous family members and friends who stopped by with books, magazines, snacks, flowers, etc. If you were one of them, THANK YOU. I may not have said it then, but I am saying it now. Thank you.

So I've learned and am continuing to learn to appreciate others' perspectives. It's hard. I like to think I'm right damn near all the time! But what's right for me might not be right for everyone. It's a toughie. A hard lesson to learn. But I'm working on it. And when I get frustrated with someone else or start to judge his or her decision, I try to fall back to my motto. Is it wrong? Or is it just different than how I would do it?

1 comment:

  1. nice point! we all walked different paths to get us to this common place, and learned different lessons along the way. and that affects the decisions we make now. i try to remember that, too, but sometimes it's hard to watch someone make a choice that i feel is not the one i would want them to make.
    i like the new layout and profile pic, by the way!