the boys

the boys

Saturday, April 14, 2012

What the HELL?

Last night, as with most nights, was interesting and entertaining in our household.  Jeremy was at work and the boys were really good overall.  Until I got on the phone.  I know we all know that there is something about a mother starting a phone conversation that makes the children swarm to her side with imminent  needs. 

The boys had previously been in my bed watching a movie before bedtime.  I gave them the whole "if you get out of bed and run around my room, you will be sent to your own rooms" threat that they get every weekend.  It worked the same way it works every weekend.  It didn't. 

I was on the phone with my sister and pausing every few minutes to politely encourage them (yeah, right!) to go to their own rooms since they didn't follow directions the first time.  And they follow directions so well.  Oh wait.  That's not what happened.  What happened was that they went on a total spaz out and started a pillow fight in the living room.  That's right.  Pretty much the exact opposite of what I asked them to do. 

Sadly, for them and for me, I had to end the phone call and be the bad guy (ie the parent).  This of course resulted in sniffling and sassing as I hauled their little butts up to bed 45 minutes after normal bedtime.  Cry me a river, kids.  It's not as if any of us didn't know this is exactly how the night would end. 

But it didn't end there.  It never does.  Not for Justin anyway.  Leo's whining was due to actual sleepiness.  He secretly wants to be forced to go to his bed because he will be sawing logs in about 2.3 seconds. 

Justin on the other hand is a night owl.  Stays up until 10 pm every single night.  So 45 minutes after the meltdowns I was finishing banking on the computer and watching my trashy TV when our first born saunters out of his room to "see what's up."  By this time I was so over the whole not going to bed issue from an hour ago. (I wonder why they don't take me seriously??)  I let him sit with me for a few minutes and chill out while I shut down the computer and then we headed to bed.  It's not uncommon that Justin gets to sleep with me when Jeremy is at the firehouse so he just made his way to my bed like he owns the place.  Fine with me, really.

Just as we snuggle in, turn off the lights, and start to drift off to sleep I heard him whisper

"What the HELL?" 

Ummm, I was like "what did you just say?"  He said "I said 'what the hell?'"

So of course I had to ask...fearing the answer...."Where did you hear that?"  (please don't say me, please don't say me,  please don't say me).

"From the new Spiderman movie."  (whew!)

"OK, well that is not a nice word.  It's like stupid or idiot, so we don't use it and tomorrow we will not be watching the new Spiderman CARTOON (mind you!) and we will look for a better Spiderman movie."

"Okie dokie mom." 

I went to bed thinking about that darn Easter Bunny who brought the foul languaged-Spiderman cartoon into our home!  If I ever get my hands on him....oh crap, I am the Easter Bunny.  Man, sometimes I really suck at this parenting thing! 

Tuesday, April 3, 2012


All I can say is wow.  Tonight was interesting.  I have a 5 year old.  A very smart and articulate 5 year old.  This can be both good and bad.  Tonight it was both. 

The night was going well until the boys failed to follow through on their end of the deal to pick up the toy room in exchange for playing Mario Galaxy with Jeremy.  There was more playing than picking up and eventually the time expired.  Not enough time left in the night to start a video game.

Enter: tears and anger from our 5 year old.  Like the kind that occur immediately.  One minute happy.  The next minute tears.  The next minute it's silence.  And for Justin, that is worse.  He was playing us.  Baiting us for a response.  He was quietly kicking furniture and just generally trying to cause trouble to get our attention.  He was eventually sent to his room.  He went quietly.  A miracle in and of itself. 

I made the nights final offer to read one book apiece, but he declined.  When he's angry we have an agreement that I will sit and cuddle with him until the anger it gone.  He wasn't having it.  He sat in a tight little ball of anger on my lap.  All the while saying mean and nasty things trying to get a rise out of me.  "I don't even like you."  "You are not even my mom."  "I didn't even like my trip (to San Antonio last fall)."  On and on.  I just continued to come back with "well, I love you and you will always be my son, etc, etc"  Finally he stuck his tongue out at Jeremy.  It was the final straw. 

Off to bed he goes again.  After about 20 minutes I went to check on him.  True to his norm, he had rid himself of his favorite belongings by putting them outside his room and stripped his bed of his covers and pillows.  I again reiterated that I love him.  He said "You are junk.  Dad is junk.  God is junk.  Everyone is junk.  I wish I was the only person on Earth."  It wasn't stated with hate or a snarl. It wasn't yelled. Strong stuff for a 5 year old. 

I kept reminding him that he is now 5 years old which has been a big deal to him lately.  He takes great pride in his new age.  He is better at anything and everything "because I'm 5 now."  His only response tonight was that he is not 5 anymore as if he somehow desired to revert back to a younger child so he could throw his little tantrum.  In his mind he can't be 5 and act like this so I guess he couldn't be 5 right  now. 

I left him to his thoughts again reminding him that I loved him anyway. 

Then magic.  It's over.  He comes out of his room a little bit later to report that he IS 5 years old.  He's totally fine.  He picked up his stuff, made his bed, went potty, brushed his teeth, told Leo a bedtime story about a family of 4 where the oldest son got mad, thought about it, and then decided to be happy again. 

When I went to his room for bedtime prayers I was utterly amazed at what happened next.  We spent the next 20 minutes talking about God, Jesus, the creation of world, spirits, how to have God in your heart to help you remember to be good and on and on and on.  It started with the sign of the cross.  What did it mean?  So we reviewed what it means. 

It led into a whole discussion about the Holy Trinity and Jesus dying on the cross....very appropriate for Easter season!  He had question after question about it.  Why was Jesus a man?  How is he a spirit now?  What is the Holy Spirit?  What does Holy mean?  How did God create the whole Earth?   Did he create the other planets too?  Are there people living on other planets?  What about Aliens?  What about outer space?  He wants to go there someday and he "heard a guy talking on TV, like a President guy, but not Obama, but like another President guy, who said that everyone will go to outer space some day so when can I go?" 

My jaw just dropped.  Could he really  have watched some sort of Presidential Debate or news story about Newt's plan for future space travel and actually put that all together?  I still can't get over it. 

Every answer I had was followed by another thoughtful question.  This is literally the first time he has ever processed these things out and it was simply amazing to watch him learn it.  To already be delving into the Holy Trinity discussion was kind of overwhelming.  He finally exhausted his questions and said a few prayers about having God help him think about good choices.  We talked about listening to God in our hearts even when we are angry.  We finished up with the Guardian Angel prayer and the Our Father.

As I walked out of the room he said to me "Remember Mom.  Even when I'm being sassy and I say you aren't my mom and you are junk or I don't like you, I will always love you forever and you will always be my mom." 

Well, that's enough right there.  WOW!  What an evening.