The Vacuum Boy

Last night, out of nowhere, Leo started crying and whining that we "never vacuum!"  He's not necessarily wrong.  Vacuuming is not really my strong suit and for some reason this devastates my second born child.  So after several minutes of begging, he got side tracked.  I took the opportunity to make dinner and clean up the kitchen. 

But he could not be deterred.  As soon as dinner was over he was back to begging to vacuum.  We relented by having the boys clean their rooms so we could vacuum their rooms.  As soon as he finished he let out a huge wail.  "We NEVER mooooooooooop!"  What?????  Again, the kid is not wrong.  I have never mopped a single thing in this house.  That's daddy's job.  Judge me or be jealous.  Doesn't matter to me.  Daddy mops.  End of story. 

But daddy wasn't up for mopping at 8 pm on a Friday night.  We are a huge disappointment to our son, apparently.  I promised repeatedly that we will spend Saturday morning cleaning.  So it was no surprise that the first words out of Leo's mouth at 7:30 am were "Is it time to dust and vacuum?"  Soon, my son, soon. 

And then the cleaning started.  First it was the living room.  He is a big fan of feather dusting the actual furniture.  Whatevs.

Then it was on to Justin's room

(note, Justin just watching him)
Then it was on to the office/spare bedroom that is currently being renovated for the boys. 

He clearly loves how he looks while cleaning!  Now it's on to mom's room and cleaning the new dog bed.

Meanwhile, Justin plays Leo's Leapster while our dog licks himself.  nice!

Next up: the kitchen floor

Having finished most rooms inside the house, the next obvious place to dust is.....

around the front door! 

And don't forget the front windows!

And we can't let the birds eat out of a dirty bird feeder!!

And now, he needs to take the rug downstairs to the laundry room so he can get ready for vacuuming.  Life just can't get any better than this.

and now it's FINALLY time to vacuum!!



and the steps...

Thanks Justin for your support!

And the final step (of course) is to.....

dust the vacuum itself!

And now it's time for a little TV (with feather duster still in hand)

No, I did not think up any of this myself and YES he is for hire to good homes :)



Get In My Belly!

Oh the joys of pregnancy.  Not that I'm complaining.  It's not as if this was an accident and I didn't know what I was getting myself into.  I went into this with my eyes, and apparently my mouth, wide open. 

I've been eating.  And eating, and eating, and eating, and eating.  For my first two pregnancies I was sick every once in a while and had lots of food aversions.  This time around I can't be stopped.  Food is my friend.  My best friend apparently.  And while my food intake has increased about tenfold, my exhaustion level went through the roof. 

Example #1:  5 weeks pregnant.  Anyone that has been pregnant or known a pregnant lady you know that our memories go kaput during pregnancy.  I was a total space cadet.  Made it through the morning routine with everything in place until I got to work and realized I didn't have any breakfast and also forgot my purse.  I had about zero gas left and no way to buy food or gas.  And this mama was HUNGRY!  I turned around, drove home on fumes (gas light turned on as I pulled in the driveway), grabbed my purse and went straight to the gas station.  But gas station food is nasty so I went to the nearest grocery store, parked in the expectant mother spot just to entertain myself (and it was closer to the food), and stocked up on enough food to last me until......well, until I got to work because I ate it all on the way there!

Example #2: 6 weeks pregnant I asked my in-laws to watch the boys on a Friday night because I could barely drag my tired butt home from work, let alone chase after my kids.  Had there been a comfy place to lay my head at work I highly suspect I would have avoided the drive home all together.  But drive home I did.  Cooking my own dinner was out of the question.  Price Chopper here I come.  It was a Friday during Lent and their catfish dinner was calling my name.  Hunger won out over exhaustion for a brief moment as I scurried around the grocery store throwing not one but TWO single-serving desserts in my cart along with my meal.  Molten chocolate cake and apple pie in case anyone cares to know.  More impulsivity: 2 trashy magazines.  Sadly, except not sad for my waistline, I fell asleep before I could eat either dessert or properly dive into the dramas of Hollywood.  This is followed by an eating binge the next day.  Breakfast at home.  Drive-thru Stake N Shake on the way to get the kids.  Thoughts of Houlihans even as I lick the cheese from my cheesy fries off my fingers.  Snacks at a bridal shower followed by yes.....Houlihans for dinner.  Thank you, honey, for giving in to my every need!

Example #3: While I was eating plenty and often, there were times when some foods sounded awful. Like the night that Justin tried to get me to eat a combo of grape and ketchup, which he loves for some strange reason.  When I politely declined, he continued to push me to eat it. We went back and forth until I explained that sometimes when mommy's have a baby in there belly their stomach kind of feels sick.  Leo pipes up with "Well, that's why we don't eat babies!"  Perfectly logical for him to think the baby got into my belly by eating it since that is the way everything else gets in our bellies.  We'll stick with that explanation until the 4th grade health class speech! 

Example #4:  9 weeks pregnant  I know I am visiting the grocery store with the boys too frequently when Justin says "Hey, when the baby comes there will be 5 of us in our family.  Where is the baby going to sit when we go to the grocery store?"  Apparently the store was our only outing for about 5 weeks straight.

Example #5: also 9 weeks pregnant  Easter Sunday.  I ate an entire meal of soup in a bread bowl from Panera BEFORE Easter lunch.  Seriously.  I can't make this stuff up.  My in-laws were kind enough not to judge.  When we got o the firehouse with Easter dinner I let everyone go through the line first in a weak attempt to put a reasonable amount of time between my meals.

Example #6:  10 weeks pregnant  My appetite is reaching its all time high.  I'm a big fan of home style food.  Enter: Roxanne's.  A super good little restaurant near my office.  In a span of 24 hours I ate there three times.  All with different people so as to not draw attention to my obsession.  Chicken fried chicken, mash potatoes, and a veggies.  Oh, and a huge doughy roll.  Mmmm-mmmmmmm.  Sadly, at my third visit the waiter asked "Haven't you already been here once today?"  He wasn't wrong.  Thankfully he didn't remember I had also been there the day before too!

Example #7:  all weeks.  Pizza  hut personal pan pizza with beef and ham.  'Nuf said.  (although if I'm being honest with myself this one isn't horribly unusual even in my non-prego days).

Example #8: 12 and 13 weeks pregnant.  Frequent flyer at Houlihans bar......because that's where I pick up my take out usual of stuffed chicken with golden mashed potatoes.  YUMMMMM!

Week 13: I made Jeremy promise me that when I start getting fat, not just pregnancy fat, but seriously chunky.  Just tell me straight up.  Don't be mean about it.  Just tell me.  I can handle it.  I'm a big girl.  No pun intended.

The Announcement

I've been writing a blog for the last few weeks.  It's cute and funny.  Lots of little fun stories from the boys.  It's purpose was to make our big announcement, but today's events changed that.  I now feel this is the appropriate way to make our announcement:

That's right.  Leo's going to be a big brother. That's Leo.  Our 3 year old.  With blood all over his cute little "big brother" shirt that is a hand me down from when Justin wore it before Leo was born.  And yes, that's tissue stuffed up his nose.  And a sad, pathetic look on his face.  Just be happy that I cleaned all of the blood off his face and hands before taking the pic.  It was not a pretty site and I still haven't started cleaning the car seat.

After a fun-filled day of a trip to the zoo and a purse party at my friend Sarah's house, the boys were exhausted.   If you have ever been around children, then you know that exhaustion shows itself in two lovely ways: meltdowns or utter silliness.  Today we choose silliness.  For the last 10 minutes of the party they put on quite a display.  Running, uncontrollable giggling, throwing themselves on the floor (usually on top of each other with extra attempts to kick each other), and just general craziness. 

It was a real effort to get them corralled towards the door and into the car.  The silliness continued.  We were so far past nap time it was getting scary.  They begged for Bon Jovi CD.  I complied.  They were dancing and flinging themselves around in their car seats.  My hope was that they would literally dance themselves into a hard slumber.  They were so close when.....

Just one mile from Sarah's house blood starts spewing from Leo's nose.  I don't suppose it has anything to do with the fact that Justin kicked him in the face during their wrestling demonstration before we left Sarah's house. 

So it is literally all over the car.  This kid is a gusher!  And he had been flinging his head and body around to the music so by the time I stop the car on the first gravel driveway I can find and hop out to fling his door open, it's not only all over his shirt, face, hands, and car seat.  There are blood splatters as far away as Justin's car seat.  I worked hard to clean it all up but can't help but think that if someday my car is part of a crime scene investigation the police are going to come looking for DNA from my 3 year old.

Anyway, after at least 5 minutes of soaking every McDonald's napkin, tissue, and the 3 paper towels that we happen to have in the car from eating breakfast on the way to the zoo, I was able to get it slow down enough to try to clean him and the car up a little bit.  Then we packed his nose and took off for home.  Leo fell asleep within seconds.  Justin stayed awake the entire way home and frequently mentioned how Leo's bloody nose really "makes me feel like not being very silly anymore."

Anyone that thinks Baby #3 won't be a boy is just crazy.  This is what we are destined for! 

What the HELL?

Last night, as with most nights, was interesting and entertaining in our household.  Jeremy was at work and the boys were really good overall.  Until I got on the phone.  I know we all know that there is something about a mother starting a phone conversation that makes the children swarm to her side with imminent  needs. 

The boys had previously been in my bed watching a movie before bedtime.  I gave them the whole "if you get out of bed and run around my room, you will be sent to your own rooms" threat that they get every weekend.  It worked the same way it works every weekend.  It didn't. 

I was on the phone with my sister and pausing every few minutes to politely encourage them (yeah, right!) to go to their own rooms since they didn't follow directions the first time.  And they follow directions so well.  Oh wait.  That's not what happened.  What happened was that they went on a total spaz out and started a pillow fight in the living room.  That's right.  Pretty much the exact opposite of what I asked them to do. 

Sadly, for them and for me, I had to end the phone call and be the bad guy (ie the parent).  This of course resulted in sniffling and sassing as I hauled their little butts up to bed 45 minutes after normal bedtime.  Cry me a river, kids.  It's not as if any of us didn't know this is exactly how the night would end. 

But it didn't end there.  It never does.  Not for Justin anyway.  Leo's whining was due to actual sleepiness.  He secretly wants to be forced to go to his bed because he will be sawing logs in about 2.3 seconds. 

Justin on the other hand is a night owl.  Stays up until 10 pm every single night.  So 45 minutes after the meltdowns I was finishing banking on the computer and watching my trashy TV when our first born saunters out of his room to "see what's up."  By this time I was so over the whole not going to bed issue from an hour ago. (I wonder why they don't take me seriously??)  I let him sit with me for a few minutes and chill out while I shut down the computer and then we headed to bed.  It's not uncommon that Justin gets to sleep with me when Jeremy is at the firehouse so he just made his way to my bed like he owns the place.  Fine with me, really.

Just as we snuggle in, turn off the lights, and start to drift off to sleep I heard him whisper

"What the HELL?" 

Ummm, I was like "what did you just say?"  He said "I said 'what the hell?'"

So of course I had to ask...fearing the answer...."Where did you hear that?"  (please don't say me, please don't say me,  please don't say me).

"From the new Spiderman movie."  (whew!)

"OK, well that is not a nice word.  It's like stupid or idiot, so we don't use it and tomorrow we will not be watching the new Spiderman CARTOON (mind you!) and we will look for a better Spiderman movie."

"Okie dokie mom." 

I went to bed thinking about that darn Easter Bunny who brought the foul languaged-Spiderman cartoon into our home!  If I ever get my hands on him....oh crap, I am the Easter Bunny.  Man, sometimes I really suck at this parenting thing! 

Wow

All I can say is wow.  Tonight was interesting.  I have a 5 year old.  A very smart and articulate 5 year old.  This can be both good and bad.  Tonight it was both. 

The night was going well until the boys failed to follow through on their end of the deal to pick up the toy room in exchange for playing Mario Galaxy with Jeremy.  There was more playing than picking up and eventually the time expired.  Not enough time left in the night to start a video game.

Enter: tears and anger from our 5 year old.  Like the kind that occur immediately.  One minute happy.  The next minute tears.  The next minute it's silence.  And for Justin, that is worse.  He was playing us.  Baiting us for a response.  He was quietly kicking furniture and just generally trying to cause trouble to get our attention.  He was eventually sent to his room.  He went quietly.  A miracle in and of itself. 

I made the nights final offer to read one book apiece, but he declined.  When he's angry we have an agreement that I will sit and cuddle with him until the anger it gone.  He wasn't having it.  He sat in a tight little ball of anger on my lap.  All the while saying mean and nasty things trying to get a rise out of me.  "I don't even like you."  "You are not even my mom."  "I didn't even like my trip (to San Antonio last fall)."  On and on.  I just continued to come back with "well, I love you and you will always be my son, etc, etc"  Finally he stuck his tongue out at Jeremy.  It was the final straw. 

Off to bed he goes again.  After about 20 minutes I went to check on him.  True to his norm, he had rid himself of his favorite belongings by putting them outside his room and stripped his bed of his covers and pillows.  I again reiterated that I love him.  He said "You are junk.  Dad is junk.  God is junk.  Everyone is junk.  I wish I was the only person on Earth."  It wasn't stated with hate or a snarl. It wasn't yelled. Strong stuff for a 5 year old. 

I kept reminding him that he is now 5 years old which has been a big deal to him lately.  He takes great pride in his new age.  He is better at anything and everything "because I'm 5 now."  His only response tonight was that he is not 5 anymore as if he somehow desired to revert back to a younger child so he could throw his little tantrum.  In his mind he can't be 5 and act like this so I guess he couldn't be 5 right  now. 

I left him to his thoughts again reminding him that I loved him anyway. 

Then magic.  It's over.  He comes out of his room a little bit later to report that he IS 5 years old.  He's totally fine.  He picked up his stuff, made his bed, went potty, brushed his teeth, told Leo a bedtime story about a family of 4 where the oldest son got mad, thought about it, and then decided to be happy again. 

When I went to his room for bedtime prayers I was utterly amazed at what happened next.  We spent the next 20 minutes talking about God, Jesus, the creation of world, spirits, how to have God in your heart to help you remember to be good and on and on and on.  It started with the sign of the cross.  What did it mean?  So we reviewed what it means. 

It led into a whole discussion about the Holy Trinity and Jesus dying on the cross....very appropriate for Easter season!  He had question after question about it.  Why was Jesus a man?  How is he a spirit now?  What is the Holy Spirit?  What does Holy mean?  How did God create the whole Earth?   Did he create the other planets too?  Are there people living on other planets?  What about Aliens?  What about outer space?  He wants to go there someday and he "heard a guy talking on TV, like a President guy, but not Obama, but like another President guy, who said that everyone will go to outer space some day so when can I go?" 

My jaw just dropped.  Could he really  have watched some sort of Presidential Debate or news story about Newt's plan for future space travel and actually put that all together?  I still can't get over it. 

Every answer I had was followed by another thoughtful question.  This is literally the first time he has ever processed these things out and it was simply amazing to watch him learn it.  To already be delving into the Holy Trinity discussion was kind of overwhelming.  He finally exhausted his questions and said a few prayers about having God help him think about good choices.  We talked about listening to God in our hearts even when we are angry.  We finished up with the Guardian Angel prayer and the Our Father.

As I walked out of the room he said to me "Remember Mom.  Even when I'm being sassy and I say you aren't my mom and you are junk or I don't like you, I will always love you forever and you will always be my mom." 

Well, that's enough right there.  WOW!  What an evening.

I Had A Dream

I had a dream.  And like most dreams, it was weird.  You know how dreams tend to mesh different areas of your life into totally awkward events.  Well, that's pretty much what happened here. 

I will also start by saying that I often have recurring dreams.  Like a ton of them.  It  probably means I'm slightly mental.  Big shocker there.  I dream I can fly.  I dream about gymnastics CONSTANTLY!  I have a scary dentist dream from my childhood.  Another one about someone robbing our grocery store when I was little.  Seriously, it's annoying. 

But anyway, one of my recurring dreams is that I have to start attending Gallatin High School in the middle of the school year and I have no idea what to do.  I don't know where my classes are.  I don't know what time lunch starts.  I can't find my locker.  On and on.  It's funny to me because had I graduated in my home town of Gallatin I would have made somewhere around the 30th student in our graduating class.  But instead I moved away from home to do gymnastics and attended Raytown High School where we had over 300 kids in our graduating class.  RHS vs. GHS.....and attending GHS is what makes me anxious enough to have recurring dreams?  Whatever.  Like I said, I'm one foot in the loony bin anyway.

Another thing that I should preface this dream with is that Jeremy is currently working for his Uncle Kent in a bike building assembly business for Wal-mart.  Therefore, he and Kent talk about 25 times a day.  Sometimes I think they are texting each other while talking to each other on the phone.  So basically Kent has emerged as an important person in our life these last few months and he is rewarded with a bit part in the dream.  I am sure he is pleased. 

Soooo....the dream:  It's morning in G-town.  First day of 12th grade.  Time for ol' Gwennie to catch the bus.  Well, lookie here.  Who is driving the bus?  It's Kent.  (I guess there were not any bikes to build that day).  He pulls up in front of 708 (my childhood home) and honks the horn for me to hurry up.....because that's what bus drivers did when I was young.  So I hop on the bus and guess who else is there?  Kent's wife, Debbie.  Apparently in dreamland she rides the bus as some sort of Bus Mother to keep the kids in line.
Dangit!  I forgot to bring Justin for his first day of Kindergarten!  (the anxiety of getting him signed up for Kindergarten is clearly weighing on me.)   I was completely stressed out that I am a horrible mother and he is missing his first day of Kindergarten.  So as we pulled into Covel D. Searcy Elementary school to drop off the elementary kids I shouted at Mrs. Houghton to ask when Kindergarten starts.  She checked for me and it didn't start until tomorrow.

Whew!!!  (Anxiety much?)

The Fish Weren't Biting

Well, it's March 18th.  Mid-March in Missouri is usually quite cool.  An occasional snow storm, maybe some thunderstorms or God forbid tornadoes.  But we have experienced some unusually warm weather this March.  Several days in the 80's this week. 

Today we went to Mimi and Pappaw's house.  It was a nice afternoon to fish.  But the fish weren't biting.  So what better to do than start dipping our toes into the ice cold lake water!

and then a little more than our toes...a little splashing around!

And then what the heck.....why not just enjoy ourselves!

and if that isn't enough, why not just pour some water ON ourselves!

This continued on with all of the kids pouring ice cold water on themselves and each other.  Fortunately no one asked to start this years first cannonball contest.  Regardless, Mandi and I figured we better draw straws on who will stay home with 5 sick kids this week....but what the heck...they enjoyed it!! 

HELLO LAKE SEASON!!!!!

ps.  Ellie, we forbid you to get into the water until at least June!