OZ

It's been a whole month since I have blogged. Can this be true?  Where is the time going?  I seem to have writers block so I figured the only way to combat it is to just start writing and see what comes of it. So, let's see what I can pull out of my arse today!
I have said this to some people before, but I find it to be more and more true every day:  I think I am the Wizard of Oz reincarnate. 

Don't laugh.  OK, laugh...that is pretty much the whole point of my blog anyway.  But hear me out. 

I may look like I've got it all under control, but really I am standing behind a curtain pushing various buttons and pulling levers in a great attempt to make life look easy.  But behind the scenes...chaos!! Absolute chaos.  At home.  At work. Anywhere and everywhere I go.  I can't seem to get anything fully accomplished.  I've started several things....including a blog post a few weeks ago that never came together, but I can't see anything all the way through.  Maybe it's more ADD as opposed to O-Z....but the Oz comparison is much more fun!

If only I could click my red sparkly heels and it would all be resolved.  So wait.  Now I am wearing Dorothy's ruby slippers?  Am I part Wizard of Oz, part Dorothy?  Or am I just the Wizard with heels?  Do I have a split personality or am I a cross-dressing Wizard?  That might be a whole other blog entirely!

But, all I really want to be is the Glinda the Good Witch of the South.  And I know what you are all thinking.  The Wicked Witch of the West might be more accurate most of the time.   It's OK.  I embrace my bitchy side.  I own it.  Sometimes I stand in my kitchen or at my desk at work and look into my crystal ball and cast spells on all of you just for my amusement.  I don't mean any real harm.  Not like I am going to drop a house on you.  Or am I?????

But I really want to be Glinda (read in whiny voice).  I really, really want to.  Why can't I be Glinda??  She actually gets things done.  Who wouldn't want to fly around in a bubble in a pretty dress?  The Wizard is a freaking mess that everyone thinks has a lot of power, but likely has one foot planted firmly across the threshold of the loony bin.  Yup, that me. 

Glinda is not only the Good Witch but she doesn't actually do things for Dorothy and her clan.   She just encourages them and points them in the right direction. But not the Wizard.  Oh no.  He has everyone convinced that they can't accomplish anything without him. He creates dependency on his "powers."  Oh wait, that's me AGAIN. 

AND....Glinda has a magic wand.  I need a freakin' magic wand.  Poof the house is cleaned. Poof the record copies and redactions are done.  Poof all of the billing is done for work and home.  Poof my filing is complete.  Poof the laundry is folded and put away.  Yup, I need me a magic wand.  I wouldn't use it for evil.  I swear I wouldn't!!!

But alas, no magic wand to be found in this home.  Instead I will continue to hide behind my curtain feverishly pushing buttons and pulling levers in an attempt to make it all come together each and every day.  One of these days I'm going to drift off in my hot air balloon.  With my luck though it will probably snag on a tree about 3 blocks from home and I'll just end up walking my crazy self back to my own front door.  Ain't nothing on the other side of the rainbow anyway...or so I hear. 

OK, enough blogging for today.  I think I have sufficiently brought myself out of my writers block.  I am waiting for my munchkins to wake up from their naps.  I swear if they come down the stairs kicking their legs and singing "We represent the Lolly Pop kids" I will know I've really lost it.  But more than likely they will be the flying monkeys!  Screeching and flying through the house.  I think I see the beginning of some possible Halloween costumes.