I've got a plan (as opposed to setting a goal which I have sworn off for the time being). I need to learn how to play cards. Probably seems simple to most people but for some reason this skill has always eluded me. I have no confidence in my card playing skills and for those of you that know me, my lack of confidence might surprise you. I am, in general, a pretty confident person but I find that where my real skill lies is participating in things that I am already good at. (side bar....hate ending a sentence with "at" but not in the mood to correct my own grammar). Crap, I can't just leave it....rewording, rewording.....I find that my real skill lies in participating in activities...shit, I really can't do it. All right....one more shot.....less fancy....I choose to do things that I can already do well. Ok, that's gotta be good enough. I'll be writing this thing all damn night.
Back on track....playing cards. Right now, I'm thinking who wants to sit down and play cards with someone who takes 5 minutes to write one sentence just so the dang thing doesn't end with "at"....maybe they'll never know. Ok, seriously though. I can't play cards. I'm not a number person and cards are about numbers. I'm a people person. I mean I LOVE me some people. I'm good at playing Old Maid...because there are people on the cards :) But oh how I hate me some numbers!! So I always feel ridiculous playing cards. And my family are numbers people. And they are card playing people. I just didn't happen to live with them for a good majority of my life so I tend to be a bit of an outsider in our group....most likely by my own doing. Ok probably only by my own doing, but that's taking on more responsibility than I care to let myself believe right now.
Anywho.....my fear (and that's what it is) of playing has preventing me from some family time....thus my new PLAN. Overcome the fear=more quality time with the fam. What better reason to overcome this skill that I have avoided so much over the last few years? I can do this. I can branch out and learn a new skill at the ripe old age of 32. After all....this is my 30's. If not now, when?
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