OK peeps.....it appears from talking to so many of you that there is not only a Situation Room, but these dang little people actually have a manual for their maneuvers!!! Can you believe it? And they share it with each other. Which only leads me to wonder.....how?
Do you think they have it tucked all down in their swaddle when they leave the hospital? Like there is some little maternity ward elf who hands them out as they leave. Or do they pass it to each other in the cereal aisle at the grocery store? There's gotta be some at the pediatricians office. The nurse takes the baby's weight and while we are oohhing and ahhing over how much he/she has gained the baby is sneaking a copy from behind the scale. Parks and play areas are a given. They must have those things stashed at every slide and bouncy thing-a-majig from here to well....everywhere really! I'm pretty sure this has gone world wide. I can't imagine that they share them with each other at church. Wouldn't that be a sin? Or is it God's way of testing our patience? Good thing He's a forgiving God too :)
Not sure about daycares. There might be a whole different manual for those environments. More troops equals the need for a whole other level of planning. Or perhaps it's just covered in the appendix. And I imagine the appendix also covers other events where large number of children can come together in a unified group (dare I say army?) You know, the usuals like birthday parties, weddings, family gatherings and other large get togethers where there is more opportunity to increase their manpower.
And if they somehow miss out on it early on....you know the ones....the babies that sleep through the night right away or latched on on the first try or never fuss at 6 pm or never poop on their outfit right before pictures...the information gets to them just a little later than everyone else.
OH! Maybe it's part of the fine print and ads in the back of our trashy gossip magazines. The part we never read. When we aren't looking they grab the magazine and right there next to the jeweled underwear proclaiming the new bride's married name and the pill for rock hard abs is a small ad advising the young troops to look next to the Fruit Loops on aisle 7 for their very own copy of the manual.
And what's it called? The Infant and Toddler Standard Operating Procedures? Childhood for Dummies? What To Expect When Your Mother Is Headed Towards the Nuthouse?
And the chapters? There's ones for single children and others for sibling groups. Still other chapters for multiples (God help that mother!) and blended families. I believe I'll delve into the chapters in another post.
It's all quiet on the home front for now. Better use this chance to get some housework done before the next invasion.
the boys
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
the situation room
I was out of town for most of this week and my dear husband stayed home with the boys for the first time EVER. I was pretty nervous in the weeks/months leading up to it. After all, I'm sure NO ONE could ever do as good a job parenting as good ol' mom. But I had to stick with my good ol' mantra: "It's not wrong, it's just different." More on that in another post.
But low and behold (what does that even mean?) he aces it. The boys have a ball, the house is clean, the laundry is done, and everyone still seems sane when I get home.
Then he leaves for a business trip and I have the boys for 3 days and low and behold (because I think I'll just stick with it) we are back in CRAZY town. He literally leaves at 5:30 and the crazy starts at 6:30. The morning starts off with probably one of my favorite things. J comes up every morning and climbs in bed with me. He has to lay on a particular side and in a particular position so that he is equally snuggled in while still able to see the TV for morning cartoons. Luckily I've got nowhere to be today so I'm good to just snuggle in. And fortunately for me today there is no demand (and I do mean DEMAND) for his morning juice (yet). Then #2, L, wakes up. I can hear him talking in his crib. I think to myself that I should go down there but oh how I'm all warm and snuggly. And unfortunately for me (and the hippo) I wait too long.
I head downstairs to greet him which is another favorite part of my day. Always welcomed with a big smile and a HI MAMA! And today welcomed with another lovely little bonus. Poop on his cheek. So let's get this straight. You've been digging in your diaper and it's on your face, the crib sheet, and one of your babies (stuffed hippo)? So I remove the hippo and 1, 2, 3: FREAK OUT! Really? I mean, really? You want me to leave the plush toy with poop in the bed? And I'M the bad person here? I'm trying to do you a favor, bud. How in all of your 17 months of life can you not realize that? Oh right....17 months. Gotcha. After all, you are the one that has had your hand down your pants for the last few minutes. On the other hand you are a boy so I'm not all that convinced this action is going to change.
So I'm thinking...they saves this crap (no pun intended) for me. Because while I'm cleaning a small person and the bedding, J is starting to not so nicely ask for his juice. Oh yeah. Sure. No prob. Let me just stop cleaning up poop and pour you a nice little cup of juice. Anything else I can get you?
I'm convinced they conspire against me. They have little meetings downstairs in their playroom. They plan it all out. As soon as I disappear upstairs they flip the switch. A video screen emerges from behind the toy box with a blue print of the house to efficiently enact their plan. The puzzles all flip over to be note pads. J stands at the front of the room with his pointer (his Mickey Mouse lightsaver sword) to instruct all troops. L and the 2 dogs....because let's be honest...they are TOTALLY in on it too......sit at attention prepared for the assignment. Crayons poised to take notes. They've got an easel set up with charts, maps, and graphs on how it's all gonna go down.
It's the toy room/situation room.
"Ok team (and thank goodness their team is only a duo at this point!) at 0600 I'll wake up and turn on the charm. Then at 0630 you see if you can squeeze out a few terds to smear around and then lure her into your room. I'll stand in the doorway just as she starts cleaning it up and act as if I literally might die of thirst if I'm not supplied with even a small sip of juice in the next 30 seconds. I'll turn on the sass at about 0945 and you see if your hitting/spitting combo can work her into a freak out. I'll bet you 2 hotwheels we can get her to raise her voice by 0947."
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
But low and behold (what does that even mean?) he aces it. The boys have a ball, the house is clean, the laundry is done, and everyone still seems sane when I get home.
Then he leaves for a business trip and I have the boys for 3 days and low and behold (because I think I'll just stick with it) we are back in CRAZY town. He literally leaves at 5:30 and the crazy starts at 6:30. The morning starts off with probably one of my favorite things. J comes up every morning and climbs in bed with me. He has to lay on a particular side and in a particular position so that he is equally snuggled in while still able to see the TV for morning cartoons. Luckily I've got nowhere to be today so I'm good to just snuggle in. And fortunately for me today there is no demand (and I do mean DEMAND) for his morning juice (yet). Then #2, L, wakes up. I can hear him talking in his crib. I think to myself that I should go down there but oh how I'm all warm and snuggly. And unfortunately for me (and the hippo) I wait too long.
I head downstairs to greet him which is another favorite part of my day. Always welcomed with a big smile and a HI MAMA! And today welcomed with another lovely little bonus. Poop on his cheek. So let's get this straight. You've been digging in your diaper and it's on your face, the crib sheet, and one of your babies (stuffed hippo)? So I remove the hippo and 1, 2, 3: FREAK OUT! Really? I mean, really? You want me to leave the plush toy with poop in the bed? And I'M the bad person here? I'm trying to do you a favor, bud. How in all of your 17 months of life can you not realize that? Oh right....17 months. Gotcha. After all, you are the one that has had your hand down your pants for the last few minutes. On the other hand you are a boy so I'm not all that convinced this action is going to change.
So I'm thinking...they saves this crap (no pun intended) for me. Because while I'm cleaning a small person and the bedding, J is starting to not so nicely ask for his juice. Oh yeah. Sure. No prob. Let me just stop cleaning up poop and pour you a nice little cup of juice. Anything else I can get you?
I'm convinced they conspire against me. They have little meetings downstairs in their playroom. They plan it all out. As soon as I disappear upstairs they flip the switch. A video screen emerges from behind the toy box with a blue print of the house to efficiently enact their plan. The puzzles all flip over to be note pads. J stands at the front of the room with his pointer (his Mickey Mouse lightsaver sword) to instruct all troops. L and the 2 dogs....because let's be honest...they are TOTALLY in on it too......sit at attention prepared for the assignment. Crayons poised to take notes. They've got an easel set up with charts, maps, and graphs on how it's all gonna go down.
It's the toy room/situation room.
"Ok team (and thank goodness their team is only a duo at this point!) at 0600 I'll wake up and turn on the charm. Then at 0630 you see if you can squeeze out a few terds to smear around and then lure her into your room. I'll stand in the doorway just as she starts cleaning it up and act as if I literally might die of thirst if I'm not supplied with even a small sip of juice in the next 30 seconds. I'll turn on the sass at about 0945 and you see if your hitting/spitting combo can work her into a freak out. I'll bet you 2 hotwheels we can get her to raise her voice by 0947."
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Irving Berlin's "Always"
Below is a post about my grandparents wedding vow renewal. In it, I referenced this song so I thought I would post the lyrics too.
I'll be loving you Always
With a love that's true Always.
When the things you've planned
Need a helping hand,
I will understand Always.
Always.
Days may not be fair Always,
That's when I'll be there Always.
Not for just an hour,
Not for just a day,
Not for just a year,
But Always.
I'll be loving you, oh Always
With a love that's true Always.
When the things you've planned
Need a helping hand,
I will understand Always.
Always.
Dreams will all come true,
growing old with you,
and time will fly,
caring each day
more than the day before,
till spring rolls by.
Then when the springtime has gone,
Then will my love linger on.
I'll be loving you, oh Always
With a love that's true Always.
When the things you've planned
Need a helping hand,
I will understand Always.
Always.
Days may not be fair Always,
That's when I'll be there Always.
Not for just an hour,
Not for just a day,
Not for just a year,
But Always.
Not for just an hour,
Not for just a day,
Not for just a year,
But Always.
I'll be loving you Always
With a love that's true Always.
When the things you've planned
Need a helping hand,
I will understand Always.
Always.
Days may not be fair Always,
That's when I'll be there Always.
Not for just an hour,
Not for just a day,
Not for just a year,
But Always.
I'll be loving you, oh Always
With a love that's true Always.
When the things you've planned
Need a helping hand,
I will understand Always.
Always.
Dreams will all come true,
growing old with you,
and time will fly,
caring each day
more than the day before,
till spring rolls by.
Then when the springtime has gone,
Then will my love linger on.
I'll be loving you, oh Always
With a love that's true Always.
When the things you've planned
Need a helping hand,
I will understand Always.
Always.
Days may not be fair Always,
That's when I'll be there Always.
Not for just an hour,
Not for just a day,
Not for just a year,
But Always.
Not for just an hour,
Not for just a day,
Not for just a year,
But Always.
I Dean, take you Dixie
A few weeks ago my maternal grandparents celebrated 60 years of marriage. We had a family BBQ and then the following week on their anniversary they renewed their wedding vows during church at the same church where they were married 60 years ago to the day. Words can't even describe....but I'll try.
We are from a small town so our little church only seats about 100 people. It's nice and simple and intimate. Many, if not all, of the people there for Mass that night have known my grandparents for most of their lives. In fact, the two boys that served Mass at their wedding were present for the vow renewal. One actually served this Mass too.
So if you can picture it, there were about 50 people gathered in a small town Catholic Church. Before Mass, Nana got out her wedding album and was comparing the pictures to how the church looks now. Before Mass began, my cousin sang (with my mom on the piano) Irving Berlin's "Always" which was one of the songs from their wedding. If you aren't familiar with the song you should check it out. It's the perfect wedding song and an even more perfect 60th wedding anniversary song! She did a beautiful job! I was watching my grandparents sit hand in hand while listening to their adult granddaughter sing their wedding song. So sweet.
During Mass, Father brought Nana and Papa up to the alter and they renewed their wedding vows. You could barely hear them, but mostly because I think they were just saying them to each other. They weren't proclaiming them for all to hear and making a show of it. They were just renewing their vows to each other. Eye to eye, hand in hand they recited the vows to love and honor each other. And then they kissed.....maybe the cutest thing I've ever seen.
But probably my favorite part was yet to come. My mom had arranged a little surprise. During the last hymn, the priest usually processes back down the aisle. But he continued to linger up by the alter and you could feel that everyone was a little confused. After the last verse he just stayed put and looked at my mom who was playing the piano. My mom just acted as if this was totally normal and she was just moving on to the next song. She switched out her sheet music but instead of another hymn she started playing the Wedding March. After the first few notes we could all see my grandparents realize what she was playing. They just sort of looked at each other, laughed, shrugged their shoulders and then stepped out into the aisle and walked arm in arm back down the aisle with everyone clapping. It gives me goosebumps now to even think about it!!!
Saying that my grandparents are my role models seems so cliche. But who wouldn't want to model themselves after these 2 people? At the family BBQ the weekend before the vow renewal, the 6 children each gave a top 10 list of memories. Every single memory had some hint, if not an outright example, of Nana and Papa's patience, generosity, and love. When we got home that evening, my husband said "Do you think our boys will be able to say that about us in 60 years?" Now if that isn't a goal.....I don't know what is!
We are from a small town so our little church only seats about 100 people. It's nice and simple and intimate. Many, if not all, of the people there for Mass that night have known my grandparents for most of their lives. In fact, the two boys that served Mass at their wedding were present for the vow renewal. One actually served this Mass too.
So if you can picture it, there were about 50 people gathered in a small town Catholic Church. Before Mass, Nana got out her wedding album and was comparing the pictures to how the church looks now. Before Mass began, my cousin sang (with my mom on the piano) Irving Berlin's "Always" which was one of the songs from their wedding. If you aren't familiar with the song you should check it out. It's the perfect wedding song and an even more perfect 60th wedding anniversary song! She did a beautiful job! I was watching my grandparents sit hand in hand while listening to their adult granddaughter sing their wedding song. So sweet.
During Mass, Father brought Nana and Papa up to the alter and they renewed their wedding vows. You could barely hear them, but mostly because I think they were just saying them to each other. They weren't proclaiming them for all to hear and making a show of it. They were just renewing their vows to each other. Eye to eye, hand in hand they recited the vows to love and honor each other. And then they kissed.....maybe the cutest thing I've ever seen.
But probably my favorite part was yet to come. My mom had arranged a little surprise. During the last hymn, the priest usually processes back down the aisle. But he continued to linger up by the alter and you could feel that everyone was a little confused. After the last verse he just stayed put and looked at my mom who was playing the piano. My mom just acted as if this was totally normal and she was just moving on to the next song. She switched out her sheet music but instead of another hymn she started playing the Wedding March. After the first few notes we could all see my grandparents realize what she was playing. They just sort of looked at each other, laughed, shrugged their shoulders and then stepped out into the aisle and walked arm in arm back down the aisle with everyone clapping. It gives me goosebumps now to even think about it!!!
Saying that my grandparents are my role models seems so cliche. But who wouldn't want to model themselves after these 2 people? At the family BBQ the weekend before the vow renewal, the 6 children each gave a top 10 list of memories. Every single memory had some hint, if not an outright example, of Nana and Papa's patience, generosity, and love. When we got home that evening, my husband said "Do you think our boys will be able to say that about us in 60 years?" Now if that isn't a goal.....I don't know what is!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Cards, anyone?
I've got a plan (as opposed to setting a goal which I have sworn off for the time being). I need to learn how to play cards. Probably seems simple to most people but for some reason this skill has always eluded me. I have no confidence in my card playing skills and for those of you that know me, my lack of confidence might surprise you. I am, in general, a pretty confident person but I find that where my real skill lies is participating in things that I am already good at. (side bar....hate ending a sentence with "at" but not in the mood to correct my own grammar). Crap, I can't just leave it....rewording, rewording.....I find that my real skill lies in participating in activities...shit, I really can't do it. All right....one more shot.....less fancy....I choose to do things that I can already do well. Ok, that's gotta be good enough. I'll be writing this thing all damn night.
Back on track....playing cards. Right now, I'm thinking who wants to sit down and play cards with someone who takes 5 minutes to write one sentence just so the dang thing doesn't end with "at"....maybe they'll never know. Ok, seriously though. I can't play cards. I'm not a number person and cards are about numbers. I'm a people person. I mean I LOVE me some people. I'm good at playing Old Maid...because there are people on the cards :) But oh how I hate me some numbers!! So I always feel ridiculous playing cards. And my family are numbers people. And they are card playing people. I just didn't happen to live with them for a good majority of my life so I tend to be a bit of an outsider in our group....most likely by my own doing. Ok probably only by my own doing, but that's taking on more responsibility than I care to let myself believe right now.
Anywho.....my fear (and that's what it is) of playing has preventing me from some family time....thus my new PLAN. Overcome the fear=more quality time with the fam. What better reason to overcome this skill that I have avoided so much over the last few years? I can do this. I can branch out and learn a new skill at the ripe old age of 32. After all....this is my 30's. If not now, when?
Back on track....playing cards. Right now, I'm thinking who wants to sit down and play cards with someone who takes 5 minutes to write one sentence just so the dang thing doesn't end with "at"....maybe they'll never know. Ok, seriously though. I can't play cards. I'm not a number person and cards are about numbers. I'm a people person. I mean I LOVE me some people. I'm good at playing Old Maid...because there are people on the cards :) But oh how I hate me some numbers!! So I always feel ridiculous playing cards. And my family are numbers people. And they are card playing people. I just didn't happen to live with them for a good majority of my life so I tend to be a bit of an outsider in our group....most likely by my own doing. Ok probably only by my own doing, but that's taking on more responsibility than I care to let myself believe right now.
Anywho.....my fear (and that's what it is) of playing has preventing me from some family time....thus my new PLAN. Overcome the fear=more quality time with the fam. What better reason to overcome this skill that I have avoided so much over the last few years? I can do this. I can branch out and learn a new skill at the ripe old age of 32. After all....this is my 30's. If not now, when?
Sunday, May 9, 2010
So, this is my 30's
So, this is my 30's. Not sure what I thought it would be like so not sure if it's living up to my expectations....or exceeding them. Husband. Check. Kids. Check. Anxiety. Check, Check. House. Check. Job. Check. Debt. Check, Check. So, all in all not too shabby. I'm a pretty goal oriented person, but for the life of me I can't remember if this was my goal or not. Somehow in my life it's always been the times when I really don't set out with a plan that I end up having great success. I wonder why that is. I guess that letting things happen naturally instead of forcing them (planning...and overplanning) results in greater successes. Hmmmmm.....ok, so new goal...lay off the goal setting and just live life. Ahhhh there's a concept. I bet my hubby would appreciate it if I just try to kick back and let life happen.
Crap, just this morning I set a goal of losing 8 lbs. I guess I kicked back, let life happen, and shoveled in the Easter candy. So do I give up that goal? Yikes. And the odd thing is that I never diet. It freaks me out. After years of college gymnastics and coaches that were less than appropriate with their weight goals for me....the food issue weighs heavy on me (no pun intended). Ok...saving that discussion for another day.
For now, I'm going to bask in the glory of the last few hours of the weekend. It's been a wonderful weekend. I watched my grandparents renew their wedding vows for their 60th anniversary. Words can't even describe.... Then today is Mother's Day. Not a bad day. Not an exceptionally wonderful day by any stretch. Just a day. But that's ok. I don't need fancy....it's not me anyway. The boys will be back soon with dinner. What's next???
Crap, just this morning I set a goal of losing 8 lbs. I guess I kicked back, let life happen, and shoveled in the Easter candy. So do I give up that goal? Yikes. And the odd thing is that I never diet. It freaks me out. After years of college gymnastics and coaches that were less than appropriate with their weight goals for me....the food issue weighs heavy on me (no pun intended). Ok...saving that discussion for another day.
For now, I'm going to bask in the glory of the last few hours of the weekend. It's been a wonderful weekend. I watched my grandparents renew their wedding vows for their 60th anniversary. Words can't even describe.... Then today is Mother's Day. Not a bad day. Not an exceptionally wonderful day by any stretch. Just a day. But that's ok. I don't need fancy....it's not me anyway. The boys will be back soon with dinner. What's next???
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