Private Parts Not so Private

We all knew this was coming.  Or at least I did.  Two young boys at home plus pregnancy and the aftermath made the situation prime for awkward conversations.  I have been fortunate to avoid the "where do babies come from" discussion.  Sidestepped that one on several occasions with the simple response of "from God."  Thus far that has satisfied the boys. 

And then there's the one of "How does the baby come out."  Again, the most simple response of "the doctor took him out" has passed for acceptable for both boys.  However, Justin was very concerned about how much it would hurt me (sweet kid) and has repeatedly stated how happy he is that he is a "dude" so he doesn't have to ever have a doctor take a baby out of him.  No joke, dude! 

And....then there's breastfeeding.  I was unsure how it was going to work this go around with two boys who would be overly aware of what is going on.  When Leo was born Justin was not even 2 yet and hardly paid any attention.  Not so much this time.  They love to be right up in the mix.  For the most part they are unfazed with the fact that Will eats from my breast.  There were a few initial questions about it but that has pretty much ceased by this point.  I'm not a very modest person and while I try to not to display my everything to them every day I don't go hide in another room or cover up with a cape if I am nursing Will at home even if the boys are present.  Judge me if you want, but this works for me.  Actually the boys seem to find my nursing Will to be a very sweet time and they like to kiss his forehead and rub his hair when he eats.  I think it makes them feel like they are a part of the experience.  I continue to be amazed at how loving they are towards him without a single indication of jealousy yet.

BUT, I was caught off guard a little bit tonight.  Everyone was in bed sleeping (I thought).  I fed Will and then balanced him on my lap while I proceeded to pump.  I didn't bother to cover up because I (wrongly) assumed that everyone was asleep.  Oh nooooooo.  Here comes Justin.  Strolling down the stairs announcing that he might throw up.  GREAT.  In reality he is a male and just had a little cough that he had to dramatize into a potential vomiting episode.  Fortunately we were later able to resolve that issue with a cough drop.  But I'm getting off track here.

So there I am sitting in my recliner with the girls hanging out.....or rather pointing out into cones as the pump sucks the life, uh ummm, I mean the milk out of me.  It takes all hands to make this situation work.  I'm trying to balance a 2 week old on my lap while holding two bottles.  Mama ain't got another hand to find a way to cover up. But I tried.  I balanced one bottle with my chin, let go of Will for 3 seconds and grabbed the new nursing wrap that my friend had just made me.  Fortunately it was within arms reach.  I couldn't put it on but I could at least throw it over my chest for some privacy.

Too late.  I was exposed.  He saw.  And the questions began. 

What's that noise?  It's the pump.

What's the pump?  It helps get the milk.

For Will? Yes, for Will.

Oh, that's how you measure it?  Yeah, to measure it (because the only thing he has seen is the end result of measuring how many ounces I produced).

So, ummmm, Mom.  Those things are your privates, right?  Ummm, yeah, they are my privates.

So, Will eats out of your privates?  Ok, I guess you could say that.

Hmmmm.  If I called them boobs I would get in trouble, right?  Right.  We call them breasts.

Ok.  So I'll just call them privates and Will eats out of your privates.  Ok, let's get you a cough drop so you can just rest and go to bed.

That's enough for me, folks.  Good night! 

I AM WOMAN (my roar is silent)

There is no doubt we've got some fun personalities in this family.  I am sure this is made clear if you have ever met us, read a Facebook post, or any of these blogs. 

For the most part I tend to like, or rather, be thoroughly entertained by the boys personalities.  They are a constant source of laughter for me and one of the main reasons I started this blog.  I love being able to capture their funny moments to read again later.  I cannot wait to see where Will's personality will land among all of the goofiness we have going on here.  Wondering if his timing will be as sharp as Justin's or if his expressions will be as adorable as Leo's.  Or something way different.  I can't wait to experience his personality!

Occasionally I am taken aback by a certain aspect of the boys personalities.  Something catches me off guard.  This was the case yesterday afternoon when Justin took us straight back to the 1950's. 

So the story goes like this:

Leo: I dropped my car behind the couch.

Me: You will have to wait until Dad gets home to move the couch and get it for you.

Justin:  No.  No.  I can get it for you.  Mom can't do it.  

Me: Justin, how are you going to get back there?

Justin: Ummmmm, because I'm a MAN!  Mens are just stronger, mom, and they can do more stuff than womens. 

Me:  Oh really? 

Justin:  Yeah, Men like challenges.  I am a man.  I will get it for him.  Don't worry about it mom.  (He went downstairs to get his light saber sword to use in retrieving the Hot Wheel.  After a few failed attempts at using the light saber to scoop it up....'cuz that's a genius manly move.... I suggested that he use it to kick the Hot Wheel all the way to the side of the couch where they can then just pick it up)

Justin: Well, womens have good ideas sometimes but men are still stronger and like more challenges.  Womens try to do the easies but men really like doing the hard challenges.  Boys really try to do stuff great.

Me:  Women do great things too.

Justin:  Well, yeah, sometimes they do.  But boys are just.....ummmm.....they are AWESOME!  They are better than women.  But that's bragging and we shouldn't really brag so I won't say that anymore.  It's just that women try to do the easies and men like challenges.  Don't worry about it mom.  I mean you have a baby to take care of so I'll just take care of this. 

And then he proceeded to use the light saber to move the car to the side of the couch, per my suggestion.  To which Leo gave him full credit for his success (no recognition for it being mom's idea). 

That's about right.  Typical male.  It's not that Jeremy has demonstrated any overly sexist behaviors for the boys, but apparently my being home every day in my new mommy mode while Jeremy has been scrambling around the house finalizing renovations has brought out the old-fashioned male/female roles in our home. And Justin, the ever observant 5 year old, has apparently picked up on what he must see as some gender inequities in our household. Or perhaps he is just a raging sexist. It's hard to say at this point.

I mean, I get it.  I'm spending more time than usual in my recliner with my feet up.  I move a little bit slower as my body recovers from giving birth.  I ask for a few more favors than usual.  I miiiiiight look a wee bit more disheveled than usual.  On the other hand their father is moving furniture from room to room with only the occasional grunt or grimace.  Big whoop.  Let's see him push a baby out of his body with no epidural and then follow it up with some rock hard boobs accompanied by some bleeding nipples while a tiny mouth sucks the life out of him.  All on about 3 hours of sleep.  How 'bout them apples, Justin?  Who's stronger now?  Who's up for THAT challenge?  Oh wait.....am I BRAGGING too much for ya? 

Here's a nice womanly idea for ya, since that's all we are good for.  How about next time you kids lose a toy behind the couch you give me some credit for its retrieval.  Too much to ask?  Too big of a challenge for ya?  That's OK.  I am woman.  (My roar is just silent so as to seem effortless).