It really started last night when we celebrated my birthday with dinner, present, and cake (YUM) because Jeremy had to work today. Present was awesome!! Dinner and drinks were yummy despite our waitress' listening difficulties and lack of follow through in the blue cheese department. The cake was fabulous. Red velvet with chocolate creme. Did I already say YUM? I was able to scarf it down despite Jeremy's claims that he can't "fit like a million candles on here so I just put 4." Gee, thanks honey.
Early to bed with a plan of early to rise. Jeremy was up and out by 5:30 and we were fortunate enough today to not have issues with Saydie, our recently bowel and bladder challenged miniature pincher.....earlier this week Justin came up stairs carrying a piece of poop from the hallway. Well good morning!
So, thus far the birthday was going well. It was only 5:30 am. I had really, really, really good intentions of getting up and working out. I figure I'm 34 and I probably ought to start developing a real game plan against flab. But I didn't. I went back to sleep.
At 6:15 am Leo came running up the stairs proclaiming in one run-on sentence after another "Thorry, Mom I peed my pants that's otay I need to wake up and tell you I need to go pee-pee thorry mom it's otay." I always appreciate the efficiency of my 2 year old who can hold both sides of our conversation himself by reporting the accident, comforting himself, reminding himself of how to improve next time, and then comforting himself again.
Fortunately he wasn't soaked so we headed to the bathroom where he INSISTED that I feel his underwear to prove he had peed in his underwear. "Check it, mom. CHECK IT!" SUPER. It's 6:15 on my birthday and I would just love to touch your urine soaked undies, Leo. But of course I oblige his request, confirm the accident, hear a repeat of the "thorry mom, it's otay......" and off we go to the other bathroom to wash up, get clothes and strip the bed.
In my half-sleep half-hurried state I rip the sheets off and the corner of the mattress pad that is already torn gets stuck under the bed. As I obliviously continue to pull it off the bed, I pretty much just rip it all along the whole seam thus rendering it completely unusable. Good, I definitely wanted to buy a new mattress pad today.
Justin wakes up during this process and we take a family trip to the basement to start laundry. Oh what? What is this? I am out of laundry detergent. That's about right. Fortunately it's home made so I just have to scoop some out, funnel it into the jug, add some water, shake, and I'm back on track. I feel obligated to fold the laundry in the dryer so finish up that quick chore and head upstairs. The boys are requesting (I'll call it that) a movie so I grab "Griffin" which is a Scooby Doo about a large pterodactyl type thing that's named Griffin. It's Leo's go-to movie. Oh what now? It doesn't work. It won't play. So I tried Toy Story 3. Nope, won't work either. So now our DVD player is broke since last night??? SUPER.
Thank goodness for DVR. We head to the living room, find a recorded Batman and I head for the shower. It's now 6:30 am.
Before I hop in the shower I decide to quickly weigh myself to reinforce that, in fact, I really should have gotten up early and exercised. My scale shows and error message. Seriously? It refused to weigh me. That's gotta be a sign. I hear ya, Mr. Scale. Reading your message loud and clear. I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down. I could feel its silent judgement for my lack of willpower. Screw the scale. I never liked the damn things anyway.
I start my shower by grabbing the conditioner instead of the shampoo. Really? At this point I start to get the giggles and I start making a mental tally of these things for what I now know is going to be a very blog-worthy day. I figure it best not to push my luck at this point so I skip shaving my legs. I want to live to see 35.
Morning progresses. I get my teeth brushed without incident, but when it comes time for make-up I hit another small snag. I pull out my $3 clearance eye shadow pallet with about 40 colors and decide on light pink. For some reason half-way though my mind wanders and I switch to a dark blue. By the time I come to my senses my eyes are semi-striped in pink and blue and I'm sporting a bad 14 year old's make-up look. I repeat the eye-makeup application and finished the morning without further incident.
Work was work. I was greeted with about 10 mini-balloons on my desk (thank you, Mary). We had a meeting to review our compliance with federal and state mandates which we passed with flying colors. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Cari.....not that a lack of confidence has ever really been a problem for me! I desperately wish I could blog about work, but HIPAA and the feds generally frown upon me sharing that info. Party-poopers, that's what I always say.
I really, really, really wanted to leave early for some "me time" but alas it was not to be. On the upside, I won $15 on the random lottery ticket I purchased this morning while getting gas and I got a call from my world traveling (and living!) baby sis which really brightened me up in the mid-afternoon. My super wonderful staff also got me an ice-cream cake which made the last hour or so of the day bearable! Thanks girls!
And by the way, did I mention it's freaking hot out today? I mean, I don't find it to be unusually hot. It's hot every single year on my birthday. It is the end of July after all. Every day the weatherman has to go on and on about the record breaking heat. If we are breaking a record every single day shouldn't it be like 256 degrees by now? What record are we breaking exactly? That it's 100 degrees on a Thursday on an odd numbered year in the middle of a moon cycle? It's freaking July! It's hot. Just call it what it is. Oh.....I have digressed unusually far and for that I apologize. It's been a long day.
I will simply wrap up the birthday story with 3 short events:
1. as we left the house tonight for Bitty Basketball my garage door broke (oops, I forgot to tell you that honey. It's on your to-do list tomorrow along with buying a matress pad and fixing the DVD player). I thought it was going to come crashing down on us because it made this huge noise. So what did I do? I yelled "Oh shit!" And what happened? I think you know. Justin says "Oh shit." I'm going to come in last or second to last in this year's Mother of the Year contest! I'm fairly certain I can beat out the mom I met today at work. She was special to say the least.
2. I got a nice surprise by seeing an old friend at the Y tonight during basketball. Brought a smile to my face....as did the Bitty Basketball events which tonight included two boys (thankfully neither were mine) kissing under the basketball goal during the game.
3. For the last 30 minute of their night, the boys pretended to be Batdogs. All communication was via dramatic panting and head nodding with the occasional break in character to ask for treats. Some things never change.
And with that, I believe I will end my birthday at just a little after 9 pm. Good night folks. I'm sure 34 will bring many, many blog-worthy events!
This is hilarious!
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