Funny Boys

Anyone who knows Justin or hears my stories about him knows that he is just a funny kid.  Just a downright funny, funny little boy.  This week has been no exception.  There have been several instances that have sent me into fits of giggles. 

On Monday he accidentally poked Leo in the eye.  No, seriously was an accident.  I saw it  happen.  So Leo was crying and carrying on and Justin felt so bad.  Justin kept telling Leo in his most sincere and encouraging voice "Don't worry buddy.  You still have TWO eyes.  You do, Leo.  You still have TWOOOOO eyes.  It's OK.  You have two eyes.  I promise.  You still have two eyes." 

My Valentine's gift to the boys was a trip to McDonald's Play Land.  I know.  You are soooo impressed!  We got food from the drive thru after playing inside and I asked the boys if they want their "usual."  When it was our turn to order Justin yells from the back "Just tell them we want our usual.  They should just know our usual so you don't have to say it all of the time."  OK, seriously we only visit McDonald's once every few weeks but he was making it sound like we are there every day.  He went on and on and on about how even if there is a different girl working they should know our car and our faces and just know our "usual." 

Friday morning I had to take Will to the doctor so we didn't have our usual morning rush to get out of the house.  Justin was slow to get out of bed so I bribed him with $1 if he takes his shower and gets dressed without having to be told 15 times.  He complied.  He has an envelope for saving money for a special Lego castle that he wants to buy after he gets all of his birthday money.  After he got ready he came into my bathroom to tell me that he doesn't want to take my dollar.  He said that I always have to give my money to him and I never get to keep any for myself so he really, really wants me to just get his dollar.  Then he suggested that I start my own envelope to start saving money for "that washer that dad keeps saying he will buy you but he hasn't bought you yet.  Maybe you can just start an envelope and buy it for yourself."  Good idea buddy!  I kept my dollar.  Only about 900 more and laundry will be a breeze! 

Friday night Jeremy fixed the boys dinner while I fed Will.  The boys were eating at the table and Jeremy is running back and forth getting them stuff and trying to fix our dinner (after I screwed it up by forgetting to turn the oven on and bake our potatoes in advance!).  Out of nowhere Justin says "Dad, I promise not to say the S word anymore."  Oh Geez.  First of all I thought he said "F word" so I was really worried.  Is it wrong that I was relieved when I realized he said "S word"?   So of course we have to ask the follow up "what is the S word?"  And then he won't say it because it's a bad word, etc but Jeremy can't let it go so he asks again to which Justin replies "Sexy.  I can't say sexy anymore because that is a bad word so when I sing I have to say 'Foxy Lady'"  I seriously about lost it.  I had to hide my face behind the What To Expect In the First Year book that I was pouring over to make sure Will isn't falling behind!  And by "make sure" of course I mean obsess about it and analyze his every move. 

Not to be outdone, I heard Leo telling Justin at dinner earlier this week "We should never drive like Dad.  He drives crazy and I will never drive like Dad."  I swear I didn't tell him to say that.  I mean he may have overheard a conversation or two that we have had about it.  And by conversation, of course I mean when I freak out on Jeremy when we are in the car and he make inappropriate comments or gestures to other drivers as he weaves in and out of traffic. Yeah, it's possible that's where Leo picked up that little gem. 

And then his own funny moment again this morning when Leo went into Will's room and woke him up because he "just had to ask him if he remembers that I have a band aid on my finger."  Oh yeah, Leo.  Will in all of his mature 3 months has been worried sick over the scratch on your thumb.  Maybe THAT'S why he was up three times last night.  He was worried about your band aid. 

Love these little guys!  They keep me laughing every single day! 

Who Cares? DayCares

Recently I saw a picture of my childhood babysitter, Jackie, on Facebook and I started reminiscing.  The good ol' days.  I have a few pretty clear memories of my time there.  I had to be about 5-7 years old because Allison was already born and I was in school for at least part of the time because I can remember riding the bus there in the afternoons. 

You know how it's funny the things that stick with over time?  Well that's what happened to me as I started thinking back....way back.  So here's a few that popped into my head immediately.  We, and by we I mean myself, my sister Mandi, Jackie's daughter Heather, made our own version of Olivia Newton John's "Let's Get Physical" video complete with leotards, sweatbands on our heads, and pillows stuffed in our shirts/leotards which were then removed to show off our fabulous new "physical" bodies!  So funny!  I bet Jackie loved that one! 

I also remember that Jackie had hot syrup for pancakes.  How funny is that?  What a funny thing to remember.  In my house we were straight out of the ol' Mrs. Buttersworth bottle and I was in awe of her hot syrup warmed up on the stovetop. 

Another favorite memory is listening to the Thriller record for the first time and being scared to death of the creepy laugh at the end!  Oh, and Toni Basil's "Hey Mickey, You're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind!  Hey Mickey!!"  I remember singing that while jumping on Heather's bed. 

Great memories!  Being a working mother is super hard work but I know my kids are making some wonderful memories with Ellan and Heather.  I can't wait to hear their memories some day when they are grown.  But of course I had to ask them now too.... 

Justin said his favorite thing is "usually eating goodies like cookies or something. Or playing and trapping cars.  And doing pumpkins at Halloween"

Leo said his favorite thing is "when I learn new papers" meaning pre-school time.

I asked Will and of course he said his favorite part of daycare is Penny!!  In fact, just this week Justin checked with us to make sure that Penny isn't related to us so Will can marry her when they get older. 

Random New Year's Eve Thoughts

• I just celebrated changing the last poopy diaper of 2012 (hopefully).  Is that sad that this is my biggest accomplishment tonight?
• I had cookies for dinner
• If you think that's bad, I had crescent rolls with chocolate chips for lunch.  For the 2nd time this week. We call them pain au chocolate (insert French accent here).  Don't judge me.  It's New Year's Eve.  Not sure why that is a valid excuse.
• Found this quote in a book tonight.  Paraphrasing....Our (non-Christian) friends are sending us a message.  'Don't tell me...show me.'  They don't want to see another television evangelist, they don't want o read another book or hear another CD about Christianity, and they don't want to hear your amazing story of conversion.  They want the real thing. They want to witness people living an authentic life supported by the authority of his/her actions.  Someone striving humbly but heroically to live by what is good, true, and noble in the midst of- and in spite of- the modern climate.  I'm gonna try to be the real thing this year!
• Every time I turn on the guide on the TV and see the show Muffin Top I think "Yes, please" but then realize it's some sort of weight loss infomercial and I keep on scrolling.
• I find Psy very annoying but somehow adding MC Hammer to his act got my attention. It's a generational thing I guess. 
• Ok NOW I have changed the last poopy diaper of 2012.  Touche, William, touche!   
• I like my job.  I felt good going back today.  I like being around such awesome people with the goal of helping families be safe.  Sounds corny, but I really do like it.  Call me crazy.  I feel like it's my calling.  I look forward to hiring new staff even when I am sad to see people leave.  It's like a new challenge to see if we can get a fresh employee to take on the overwhelming task at hand.  I should take a maternity leave every few years just to rejuvenate!
• I wish people thought my double chin is as cute as Will's.
• I may have done the MC Hammer shuffle across my living room floor on the way to the bathroom.  And I probably looked really good doing it. 
• I miss my boys tonight.  They would have applauded my dance moves.  William just isn't there yet.  He's not my target audience. 
• Well, now it's 10:49 pm so I might as well stay up and see the ball drop on the East Coast.  It's the least I can do (for who????)
• I'm TOO LEGIT TO QUIT. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!  I HOPE YOUR 2013 IS FILLED WITH MUCH LAUGHTER AND LOVE! 

Home vs. Work

To be a stay at home or not to be?  That is the age old question and one that I have heard about 500 times since Will was born.  "Are you going back to work?"  It seems that the answer is yes.  I had never planned to stay at home with my children.  I find that I am a better parent and better person in general when I can boss people around at work all day.  But the question does bear some assessment as I have enjoyed my time at home more this go around than with my first two kiddos.  I think I'm just generally more relaxed and in the groove this time.  Taking everything as it comes instead of trying to control it.  Third times the charm, I guess.

Whenever I am trying to make decisions, I pull out the ol' pro vs. con list.  So here we go.....

Home: Time for naps, although if I was home permanently with all 3 boys it would never happen.  Today I got two children to sleep at the same time and the 3rd one quietly playing a video game.  I slept for a total of 17 minutes.
Work:  Naps are reportedly frowned upon but I do have a lock on my office door.....note to self....schedule "conference call" each afternoon and put up the ol' "do not disturb" sign
Point goes to:  WORK

Home: More time to exercise and actually get back in shape.  I mean, I have exercised only one day so far but surely I would do more if I was here full time.  I'm just sure of it.  Really. It could happen.
Work: Working full time with 3 children gives me a nice excuse to avoid working out
Point goes to: HOME, only because I hang on to the off chance that I might actually get in shape

Home: Way more time to cook and plan meals.  Unfortunately it has resulted in a nice little muffin top.
Work:  Too busy to stop for lunch or dinner = pre-baby weight
Point goes to: WORK

Home:  Time (and I use the word "time" loosely because I haven't showered in about 36 hours) to be room mom for Justin's Kindergarten Winter Party which entails planning, gathering donations, organizing games, and delegating tasks to the other parents 
Work: Time to be room mom for Justin's Kindergarten Winter Party
Point goes to:  HOME.  Loved every minute of it 

Home: I have found my inner crafty self by way of my obsession with Pinterest 
Work:  Crafts cost $$$$ and really I'm not that good at it anyway. 
Point goes to: WORK

Home:  sweats, yoga pants, no make up, t-shirts.  Need I say more?
Work: pants with buttons (gasp), belts, heels, jewelry
Point goes to: HOME, hands down

Home: Daytime TV
Work: avoiding daytime TV
Point goes to:  WORK  I can only watch so many reruns of Wings and Sex and the City

Home:  Time to eat lunch with Justin at school.....at the Cafeteria
Work:  "forgetting" my lunch so I get to eat Roxanne's
Point goes to:  WORK

Home: Recliner
Work: state issued chair that's approximately 35 years old
Point goes to:  HOME

Home: Managing the freak outs of a 4, 5, and 33 year old (I can't really count Will's crying as freak outs.....yet)
Work: Managing the freak outs of grown women
Point goes to: Amazingly I'm going with WORK on this one.  At least I am not responsible for their general well-being and contributions to society based on my responses to their freak outs

Home:  Getting shit on (literally)
Work: Getting shit on (figuratively)
Point goes to: HOME because in theory that shit will come to an end one of these days

Home: Playing referee to a 4 and 5 year old (an occasionally the 33 year old WITH the 4 and 5 year old)
Work: Playing referee for adults (and I use that word loosely) with mental illness, substance abuse, and general patters of abusive and destructive behaviors
Point goes to:  HOME because I feel like I can make more of a difference in the way they manage themselves in tough times (fingers crossed), but oddly enough I do enjoy managing the conflicts of our clients. Something different every day.  I'm kinda sick in that way.

Home: No more daycare costs, but education responsibilities are on me.  Pretty sure they would only learn how to bake cookies, how Carrie cheated on Aidan with Mr. Big, and how to sing the Nanny's theme song....oh wait, they already know that one. 
Work: Paying a big ol' hunk of money each week for the safety, happiness, and well-being of my children
Point goes to: WORK.  Ellan and Heather just ROCK! 

Well, final score is Home: 6  Work: 7.  I should just stop here while work is still ahead since that is my plan anyway.  I would hate to convince myself otherwise.  So back to work it is.....Monday will be here so quickly.  I'm OK with it.  I really am.  I could use maybe another month or so at home, but I can suck it up and get back to business!   Look out, ladies.....I'm comin' back!!!! (Just in case you were worried)

But it's gonna be hard leaving these sweet faces

Kitchen Table Confessions

My hometown church has a practice of having silent confessions.  During Mass the congregation is led by Father Bob in a meditation of confession.  Today was a Confession Sunday.  I was nervous only because I just couldn't imagine that my three boys could sit quietly through a group meditation. 

In the meditation we are asked to picture ourselves at our kitchen table sitting across from Jesus.  We are to speak freely and openly to him about our concerns, our sins, and whatever else is on our hearts.  It is a truly wonderful experience and I encourage each of you to do it in your own time. 

For many Catholics confession can be daunting.   Confessing your sins out loud to anyone takes guts even if it is a Priest you feel will protect your inner most thoughts and actions.  The Priest is the medium to a discussion with Jesus and the Kitchen Table Confession is a more direct, and likely more open and honest, way to confess our sins. 

I was pleased when all three of my boys were able to remain silent throughout the meditation.  I had attempted to educate them ahead of time of what was to occur and they really took an interest in it.  I also thoroughly enjoyed that immediately following the silent confession period both boys openly confessed that they did not keep their eyes closed the entire time.  Love their honesty!

While I won't go in to the details of my own confession for obvious reasons, I think it's safe to say that I, like most parents, had confessions related to my parenting.  Parenting is so hard.  So very, very hard.  Made harder right now just be the sheer lack of sleep due to having a newborn.  It's a reality that every new parent understands.  It is what it is, I always say!

So, for every time (and there are many....too many) that I feel my parenting is sub-par and for the times when I lose my cool and berate myself for not being grateful enough to still have my children to hold tightly in my arms and tell them I love them, I will instead try to come back to this blog and this time and this experience and remember that I am giving my children the best gift a parent can give: a lesson in prayer and a relationship with Jesus. 

I, like everyone, am so very heavyhearted about the tragedy in Connecticut this past week.  I have a kindergartner and I am better off emotionally if I don't try to put myself in a position of the parents who lost their children.  I am better off just to pray for them in every way possible and to raise my children to do the same. 

So tonight, I revisited the Kitchen Table Confession concept with the boys as a bedtime experience.  Justin's very first statement was "Mom, we can't forget to pray for those kids that died."  Oh, I know honey.   Oh, how I know! 

I asked them to pray their own prayers tonight and talk to Jesus in their hearts.  And of course they have little concept of doing anything quietly or silently in their heads so their "silent" discussion with Jesus at bedtime was spoken aloud. 

Justin's:  Jesus, help me not to kick my brother and not yell at my mom and to make better choices.  And please take care of the kids that were killed today.

Leo's:  Jesus, help me get Will's binky when he 'pits it out and not to yell at my brother when he poops and pees a lot. 

(I especially liked how each of them prayed about how to be a better brother to their younger sibling.)

I encourage you to have a Kitchen Table Discussion with Jesus tonight.  I believe the visual aspect of picturing ones self sitting at the table for the discussion gives extra support to the prayer experience.  For me, I am able to picture Jesus' peaceful and open expression as I confess my deepest thoughts and sins.  No judgement.  No worry that it will result in gossip about me or my loved ones.  No hurt feelings.  And most importantly, forgiveness.  Sweet and complete forgiveness. 

Private Parts Not so Private

We all knew this was coming.  Or at least I did.  Two young boys at home plus pregnancy and the aftermath made the situation prime for awkward conversations.  I have been fortunate to avoid the "where do babies come from" discussion.  Sidestepped that one on several occasions with the simple response of "from God."  Thus far that has satisfied the boys. 

And then there's the one of "How does the baby come out."  Again, the most simple response of "the doctor took him out" has passed for acceptable for both boys.  However, Justin was very concerned about how much it would hurt me (sweet kid) and has repeatedly stated how happy he is that he is a "dude" so he doesn't have to ever have a doctor take a baby out of him.  No joke, dude! 

And....then there's breastfeeding.  I was unsure how it was going to work this go around with two boys who would be overly aware of what is going on.  When Leo was born Justin was not even 2 yet and hardly paid any attention.  Not so much this time.  They love to be right up in the mix.  For the most part they are unfazed with the fact that Will eats from my breast.  There were a few initial questions about it but that has pretty much ceased by this point.  I'm not a very modest person and while I try to not to display my everything to them every day I don't go hide in another room or cover up with a cape if I am nursing Will at home even if the boys are present.  Judge me if you want, but this works for me.  Actually the boys seem to find my nursing Will to be a very sweet time and they like to kiss his forehead and rub his hair when he eats.  I think it makes them feel like they are a part of the experience.  I continue to be amazed at how loving they are towards him without a single indication of jealousy yet.

BUT, I was caught off guard a little bit tonight.  Everyone was in bed sleeping (I thought).  I fed Will and then balanced him on my lap while I proceeded to pump.  I didn't bother to cover up because I (wrongly) assumed that everyone was asleep.  Oh nooooooo.  Here comes Justin.  Strolling down the stairs announcing that he might throw up.  GREAT.  In reality he is a male and just had a little cough that he had to dramatize into a potential vomiting episode.  Fortunately we were later able to resolve that issue with a cough drop.  But I'm getting off track here.

So there I am sitting in my recliner with the girls hanging out.....or rather pointing out into cones as the pump sucks the life, uh ummm, I mean the milk out of me.  It takes all hands to make this situation work.  I'm trying to balance a 2 week old on my lap while holding two bottles.  Mama ain't got another hand to find a way to cover up. But I tried.  I balanced one bottle with my chin, let go of Will for 3 seconds and grabbed the new nursing wrap that my friend had just made me.  Fortunately it was within arms reach.  I couldn't put it on but I could at least throw it over my chest for some privacy.

Too late.  I was exposed.  He saw.  And the questions began. 

What's that noise?  It's the pump.

What's the pump?  It helps get the milk.

For Will? Yes, for Will.

Oh, that's how you measure it?  Yeah, to measure it (because the only thing he has seen is the end result of measuring how many ounces I produced).

So, ummmm, Mom.  Those things are your privates, right?  Ummm, yeah, they are my privates.

So, Will eats out of your privates?  Ok, I guess you could say that.

Hmmmm.  If I called them boobs I would get in trouble, right?  Right.  We call them breasts.

Ok.  So I'll just call them privates and Will eats out of your privates.  Ok, let's get you a cough drop so you can just rest and go to bed.

That's enough for me, folks.  Good night! 

I AM WOMAN (my roar is silent)

There is no doubt we've got some fun personalities in this family.  I am sure this is made clear if you have ever met us, read a Facebook post, or any of these blogs. 

For the most part I tend to like, or rather, be thoroughly entertained by the boys personalities.  They are a constant source of laughter for me and one of the main reasons I started this blog.  I love being able to capture their funny moments to read again later.  I cannot wait to see where Will's personality will land among all of the goofiness we have going on here.  Wondering if his timing will be as sharp as Justin's or if his expressions will be as adorable as Leo's.  Or something way different.  I can't wait to experience his personality!

Occasionally I am taken aback by a certain aspect of the boys personalities.  Something catches me off guard.  This was the case yesterday afternoon when Justin took us straight back to the 1950's. 

So the story goes like this:

Leo: I dropped my car behind the couch.

Me: You will have to wait until Dad gets home to move the couch and get it for you.

Justin:  No.  No.  I can get it for you.  Mom can't do it.  

Me: Justin, how are you going to get back there?

Justin: Ummmmm, because I'm a MAN!  Mens are just stronger, mom, and they can do more stuff than womens. 

Me:  Oh really? 

Justin:  Yeah, Men like challenges.  I am a man.  I will get it for him.  Don't worry about it mom.  (He went downstairs to get his light saber sword to use in retrieving the Hot Wheel.  After a few failed attempts at using the light saber to scoop it up....'cuz that's a genius manly move.... I suggested that he use it to kick the Hot Wheel all the way to the side of the couch where they can then just pick it up)

Justin: Well, womens have good ideas sometimes but men are still stronger and like more challenges.  Womens try to do the easies but men really like doing the hard challenges.  Boys really try to do stuff great.

Me:  Women do great things too.

Justin:  Well, yeah, sometimes they do.  But boys are just.....ummmm.....they are AWESOME!  They are better than women.  But that's bragging and we shouldn't really brag so I won't say that anymore.  It's just that women try to do the easies and men like challenges.  Don't worry about it mom.  I mean you have a baby to take care of so I'll just take care of this. 

And then he proceeded to use the light saber to move the car to the side of the couch, per my suggestion.  To which Leo gave him full credit for his success (no recognition for it being mom's idea). 

That's about right.  Typical male.  It's not that Jeremy has demonstrated any overly sexist behaviors for the boys, but apparently my being home every day in my new mommy mode while Jeremy has been scrambling around the house finalizing renovations has brought out the old-fashioned male/female roles in our home. And Justin, the ever observant 5 year old, has apparently picked up on what he must see as some gender inequities in our household. Or perhaps he is just a raging sexist. It's hard to say at this point.

I mean, I get it.  I'm spending more time than usual in my recliner with my feet up.  I move a little bit slower as my body recovers from giving birth.  I ask for a few more favors than usual.  I miiiiiight look a wee bit more disheveled than usual.  On the other hand their father is moving furniture from room to room with only the occasional grunt or grimace.  Big whoop.  Let's see him push a baby out of his body with no epidural and then follow it up with some rock hard boobs accompanied by some bleeding nipples while a tiny mouth sucks the life out of him.  All on about 3 hours of sleep.  How 'bout them apples, Justin?  Who's stronger now?  Who's up for THAT challenge?  Oh wait.....am I BRAGGING too much for ya? 

Here's a nice womanly idea for ya, since that's all we are good for.  How about next time you kids lose a toy behind the couch you give me some credit for its retrieval.  Too much to ask?  Too big of a challenge for ya?  That's OK.  I am woman.  (My roar is just silent so as to seem effortless).