Eating, Drinking, and Being Pretty Darn Merry!

So, I've been thinking all week about what kind of blog to write about my fabulous trip abroad.  What to share?  What to share?  What NOT to share (wink, wink)?
I guess I will go boring and do a top 10 list.  So here it is....excluding our Kosovo experiences since I already blogged about those:

10. Spending way more time at the awesome shopping mall on the bottom floor of the Louvre than we did looking at actual art.  I think we only pulled ourselves away from the stores out of sheer obligation to see the Mona Lisa.  You can't go to the Louvre and not see her.  But don't worry.  We shopped some more before we left :) 

9. Drinks at Experimental Cocktail Club that were super yummy.  It was located in our favorite shopping area and we tried 5 times over 2 days before it was actually open.  But no big deal really.  We spent so much time in this area.  It had cafes, cheese shops, pastry shops, wine stores, chocolate stores, high end clothing, consignment clothing, pubs, etc, etc.  We could have stayed right there for an entire week and never gotten bored. 

8.  Notre Dame- simply amazingly beautiful church.  We tried twice to get up early enough to attend a morning Mass but both mornings we slept in from the exhaustion of being a tourist. 

7.  Stick thin/bleach blond haired French waitress at the Cha Cha Lounge that screwed up our dessert order three times and I totally got the giggles when she kept bringing me the same one and I kept telling her I wanted the chocolate cake.  Below is a pic of Allison testing out my drink.

6.  the Eiffel Tower.  Really amazing just to see it in person and go up to the top.  My parents went almost 30 years ago so really cool to see it for myself.  We waited in some really long lines.  I was shocked at how many people were there on a random Thursday in October.  Can't imagine the lines in June! 

5.  Dessert sampler at a little cafe/bar place in Paris that we went to twice...yes, we went back just for the desserts one last time before we left!  We were starving the first  night we got there and Allison had scoped out a hot new place but it was booked through the end of October so we wandered the streets of Paris aimlessly at about 10 pm and finally stumbled upon the perfect shopping area I already mentioned.  Most places were already closed but this place was still serving.  After dinner we opted for a little dessert sampler and we were pleasantly surprised to say the least!!  The chocolate lava cake was SOOOO good.  I got the full sized one the last  night.  No need for sample size here!  I love these two pictures of the before and after.

4.  Wicked!  By sheer luck on our very first night in London we came upon the Broadway musical just 3 minutes before the curtain dropped.  And we got rock star seats that must have been saved for some VIP's that didn't show.  Loved every minute of it.  Acting and singing were awesome.  People watching during intermission was also worth the price of the seats!

3. Getting dressed up all fancy-dancy for our night on the town in Paris.  We started with drinks at the Ritz Carlton at the famous Hemingway's Bar.  Uber rich and fancy. We sat at the bar with a really fun and engaging bartender.  We had one drink a piece and paid way more than I would ever pay for a full meal here in good ol' USA :)  I begged Allison to let me take a picture but she wouldn't let me.  I was able to sneak a quick pick of a beautiful flower arrangement in one of the many sitting areas on the way through the enormous lobby area. 

2.  Harrods in London.  It was one of those experiences where you walk in and just fall in love.  It's super high end for the most part (Prada, Gucci, and Chanel....OH MY!) but one one of the main floors was several rooms of fresh food including cases and cases of cheese, shelves of spices/oils/coffees, etc, a whole room for chocolate, and then the seafood room.  We had the most delicious lunch in the seafood room.  Ahhhh, my mouth is watering just thinking about it.  I could have stayed there for 3 days straight.  I would have to take out a 2nd and 3rd mortgage out on our  house but it would have been fun for the time being!!

1. Little Palace Hotel.  Our initial joy that it was on the same block as our metro station was quickly enhanced by the absolute adorableness of the whole place.  When we made it to our room and realized we actually have an awesome view from our penthouse suite (ok, it wasn't a penthouse suite....it was just a tiny but adorable room on the top floor with a double window that opened!) I literally squealed with delight that we could see the Eiffel Tower from our room.  Kudos to Allison for finding this perfect little area of Paris!

LOVED, LOVED, LOVED every minute of my trip.....except the trip home.  An obvious blog choice would be to document the disaster that was my trip home.  I really hate to give it too much attention.  It was the only downside to my trip.  On the other hand, it is worth mentioning so this is as short as I can make it:

20 minute walk to Underground; 1 hour subway ride to the airport; 2 hour wait to board plane; 8 hours ride to Newark; got diverted to Maine; sat on tarmac in Maine for 2 hours and not allowed to get off the plane; 90 more minutes to fly to Newark; circled above Newark for a few minutes; another hour on the tarmac waiting for a gate to open; 30 minutes through customs; 30 minutes for my bag; 3 hour wait in line to rebook my flight to Kansas City (11:45 pm by this time!); 45 minutes in line for a taxi; shared a taxi with 2 women that didn't speak English; dropped them off at a hotel that didn't have electricity; drove to Lisa's (college roommate) house in a cab; barely avoiding downed power lines and tree limbs; arrived at 1:15 am; talked for 45 minutes ands slept for 2 1/2 hours; took a town car back to the airport at 5 am; got caught in a huge traffic jam but finally arrived back at Newark; 1 hour in line to find out my flight is cancelled and they can't get me home until Monday night (this was Sunday morning); break down in tears and beg for a flight anywhere close to Kansas City; get on 8 am flight for St. Louis; St. Louis flight cancelled; wait in line for 1 more hour to get put on standby for Kansas City; mini tram to a new terminal; wait in line for 10 minutes to get an actual seat on the 2 pm flight to Kansas City; wait in another line for 1 hour to get bag routed to Kansas City instead of St. Louis (even though that didn't actually happen!); 3 more hours waiting in the airport for my flight and FINALLY success!  Home sweet home just a mere 36 hours after my trip began.

Wow, that took longer to write than I expected.  What a friggin' nightmare end to my trip.  My memory is already fading of those miserable 36 hours.  I decide to only remember the good times from now on.....I guess if I ever want to recall that day and a half from hell I can read my own blog :)

All in all a great time.  Where to next????

Travel Bingo, Kosovo Style

When we were young, my mom had creative ways to keep me and my sisters busy.  We were always a fan of the road trip however short (Hamilton) or long (Florida) it may be.  There were no qualms about climbing into the ol' station wagon and setting off for an adventure.  When you live in a small town, even heading to "the city" for shopping or a movie or Worlds of Fun took the better part of the day.

But traveling with 3 young girls in the back seat might make you want to pull your hairs out one by one.  Between the bickering, the giggling, the incessant questioning, and the requests for frequent stops I'm sure it was a joy ride for all.  But I remember it very fondly.  We had lots of car games/activities including singing girl scout songs, picking a color and counting how many cars passed of that color, reading books, and the ol' standby: Travel Bingo.

Travel Bingo, for anyone that doesn't know, is a collection of cardboard square cards with 5 rows of 5 pictures in regular "BINGO" fashion.  The pictures were of items you might see during travel.  Each picture had a little red plastic window that would slide over it so when you saw it you closed the window.  Five red windows in a row or diagonal is BINGO.   I'm sure it's fancier today and somehow made into an electronic game, but really nothing beats good ol' bingo.

So here I am, half way across the world in Kosovo.  I'm visiting Allison who is quite the tour guide.  Poor girl gets made fun of for constantly reading her map and Kosovo tour book, but as a fellow frequent map user, I applaud her.  And I use the term map loosely because roads are built and torn out from day to day so not sure how a map can keep up.  But it has the general idea.

So we set out on our 48 hours of adventure in Kosovo.  Within the first few miles I knew Kosovo Bingo was the only way to go.  So for those of you that come to Kosovo in the future (of which I am so sure will be many of you), take along Kosovo Bingo.  And good luck to you!!

Here is my Bingo Card.  I was successful in that I obtained a Black Out meaning I witnessed each and every item on my card.

My Kosovo Bingo Squares:

1. Every Bingo has a star in the middle known as the Free Space.  So here's a freebie that you can't miss, even when you try:  Giant holes in the road.  Not just potholes.  Ohhhh, no.  That would be too easy.  These holes are big enough for your car to fit in.  They are random.  There one day, gone the next.  Only occasionally identified by a small orange cone or possibly a small dumpster sat out to deter drivers.   Sometimes they make the entire road impassable when it was barely drivable in the first place.  Not sure what causes them or how they get fixed because I saw neither of these things occur during our 10 + hours of driving the countryside, but they happen.  So there's your freebie.  The rest you  have to work for.
2. Sheep 

3. Angry Shepard man yelling at us in Albanian because he is angry that we only speak English and Serbian.   Angry Shepard man must have scary looking dog.
4. Novo Brdo- 12th Century Castle ruins.  

5. Empty Red Bull can among the castle ruins

6. Restaurant in the woods where angry wife refuses to make fresh bread for our dinner.  

7. Ambassador to a foreign country
8. Catholic Church Mass in tiny village where priest spends last 5 minutes of Mass calling out the important international figures in attendance for the day including "Alissa and her sister visiting from America!"  That's right, got a shout out in church!!

9. Tiny girls with rotted teeth who want to hold our hands and can't take their eyes off of us.
10. Miniature Golf and Paintball

11. Giant (and I do mean GIANT) pile of hay stacked in the shape of a trapezoid
12. Mini-tractors with never fewer than 2 people piled on, but more likely to have 3-4 people riding.  Bonus point if there is a man in a pin-striped suit riding the tractor.
13. Photos, billboards, and statue of Bill Clinton

14. Missouri license plate on random car
15. Te Ariu (The Bear).  It's the Chuck E. Cheese of Kosovo.  A place to take your kids for dinner with "exotic" animals roaming about.  Includes caged bears.  

16. Gracanicia Monastery- one of two remaining Monastery's that were not burned down in recent conflicts.  

17. Seven year old girl drinking beer with what appears to be her father and brothers on a bench opposite the Monastery.  
18. Water park complete with water slides that appear to be slightly rusted.
19. Wine, wine, and more wine

20. Furniture stores and appliance stores with no customers.  One can only assume the same couch has been on the display floor for the last 8 years.  Appliance stores have 3-4 stories of washing machines stacked up viewing pleasure.
21. The most F-ed up Roundabouts known to mankind.  Absolutely no logic.  Streets that run parallel to each other for no purpose.  
22. Buildings only half built

23. Carnival ride- one of those that you sit on a swing and it spins and the swings go way up in the air.  If you think the traveling carnival that comes through your town looks scary you haven't see anything yet!
24. Cows individually tethered to the ground and chickens wandering aimlessly
25. Pollution.  In order for this to count you must be able to see, taste, smell, and feel the pollution deep in your lungs.  Found near Obiliq. 

BINGO!!!

So, the funny thing that I realized is that I can find almost every single one of these things in the good ol' USA.  Let's be honest......Missouri has become a big fan of the roundabout and isn't afraid of potholes.  We embrace them.  And children with rotted teeth?  Check.  Bill Clinton lovers?  We have many.  Livestock are aplenty in these here parts of the world too.  We aren't big on 12th century castles, but Red Bull we've got.  And I'm sad to say....there are 7 year old children allowed the occasional swig of Bud Light.  Not in my house necessarily, but it happens.  I've seen it happen.  I challenge you to see if you can achieve a black out Bingo here in America.  I think you might get close.

In addition to all of the wonderful sites, we had a fabulous time eating, drinking, and being merry!!  We had a delicious late lunch with awesome red wine and a creme brule for dessert.  YUM!  We had a cards night with Allison's work friends (YES, me...cards!).  Her friend has her house all decorated for Halloween.  I felt right at home!

So in my lifelong theme, I will simply attest that the happenings of Kosovo are not wrong.  They are just different than my norm.  Except this last little tidbit.  Whether truth or fiction, it made for a good giggle on our last night in the 'Vo.  The Tooth Fairy does exist in Kosovo.  But instead of hiding the tooth under the pillow, the family dog eats it.

Now that's just wrong!

On to London!!!!

LOVE

Five years ago today on the most beautiful October afternoon we got married.  The day was perfect.  I could not have asked for more.  The last five years have been amazing!!  I had a whole blog to write but I am in Paris today and there are angry French women waiting to use the computer. 

Jeremy, I love you more now than I did five years ago.  You are the most generous and loving husband a girl could ask for!! 

Dinner Time (emphasis on the TIME)

Wow!  It's been a whole month since I have posted.  My how time flies when you're.... boring.  Not that boring is bad or anything.  I'll take boring over some of the usual craziness just about any day.  

In the past month we have been working on getting the boys to eat a good dinner.  Less processed/quicky food and more meals.  I am a horrible and picky eater so combining that with busy evenings and Jeremy being at the firehouse every 3rd day our meals were really suffering.  I'm trying to get back to planning out a menu to keep us on track.  I'm doing a little bit better at it this month.

Tonight is a firehouse night so it's a left over night.  Dinner is less formal.  We will use the china tomorrow.  Oh wait, I don't have china.  Oh well.  Anyway, tonights menu is Egg McMuffins (not from McDonalds), grapes, pears, and cheese.  Fancy, I know.  Who's jealous?  I accidently bought a dozen eggs when I already had a dozen at home so it's all eggs all the time until we use some of them up.  To hell with cholesterol!

My boys are rather slow eaters which they get from their dear ol' mother.  I was always the last one done with dinner.  My sisters hated me for it.  They thought I was trying to avoid clean up.  They were wrong.  I just didn't like food.  Unless it was cake.  I like me some cake.  YUM.  Cake. 

Anywho.  My boys are also chatty.  During dinner.  Before dinner.  After dinner.  Pretty much every minute of every day.  Not sure who they get that from ;)  Chatty, chatty, chatty. 

Slow eaters and chatty.  So, basically dinner lasts 15 hours around here.  What follows is a list of tactics the boys have used tonight (yes all in one night) to avoid eating dinner.  I sat there and just took notes because finally I'm not the last one done eating in our house.  Pat myself on the back.

• Can I be done?  (this is asked by Leo by about the 3rd bite and continues throughout every meal until he is actually done)
• Can I play on the swingset?
• I need to go pee-pee
• My belly hurts I don't think I can eat.
• UGHHHHHHHHHHH (angry grunt when told repeatedly to finish dinner)
• Do I have to eat everything? (Yup).  Like even the rest of the egg? (Yup,  all of it).  How about the bread part?  (yup, everything).  Even the rest of my pears? (yes, EVERYTHING).  OK then.  I was just asking!!!!
• I'm so tired I don't think I can finish eating
• I want some more grapes
• after being told repeatedly to STOP TALKING AND EAT! Leo tried whispering to Justin as if I'm not sitting right beside him.  "Jushtin"  (Leo, stop talking)  Quiter this time "Jushtin"  (Leo, I'm sitting right here. I can hear you talking).  And again "Jushtin"  Really, Leo? 
• I really, really, really love you.  I really wish I could be done.
• Maybe if you let us eat on our TV trays in the living room we can eat good and be done so we'll have time for a movie
• I wish I could have more drink
• I need to go poo-poo
• various levels of crying and whining
• various levels of sillyness and giggle fits
• this is so weird
• Looooook mom.  I'm taking a big bite!!!!  NOW can I be done?  (no, you have to eat all of it)  Ohhhhhh, that makes me SO MAD!  (well, it's ok to be mad but you still have to finish your dinner)
• Now can I be done?
• more uncontrollable laughing

so eventually dinner was done.  Only a few scraps left on the plate so not a bad showing.  Off to bed they go and just as I sit down to write this Justin comes creeping out of his bed and says "I just wanted to tell you that you were right about dinner becuase I was being bad at dinner."  And just when I thought he was being really sweet he asked to sit downstairs for a few mintues so really he was just being nice to butter me up and get to stay up later.  I'm on to your game, buddy!  Nighty nighty! 

My Hero Today

Two big events today.  One certainly way more important than the other.  The 10th anniversary of 9/11 and Opening Day of the regular season for the Kansas City Chiefs at Arrowhead Stadium.  We knew there was a big ceremony planned before the game started to commemorate the anniversary of that horrible day ten years ago.  All of the fans had been asked to get in their seats by 11:40 am for the pre-game ceremonies that would honor the fireman, police officers, port authority officers and all other lives lost.

Jeremy has been asked to participate in the ceremony on the field.  Numerous firefighters from around the KC metro area were gathered together to present a HUGE flag on the field before the game.  Jeremy decided to turn down that opportunity, but one of his co-workers was on the field today.  When all of the firemen came out on the field around 11:30 everyone in the stadium stood and applauded.  Shouts of USA, USA!!! were heard all over the stadium.  Very, very moving. 

At about 11:50 the pre-game events were underway.  We watched as the firefighters unraveled the flag that covered the entire field.  Buffalo Bills players and firefighters held it on one side.  KC Chiefs and other firefighters held it on the other sideline.  It gave me the chills!! Jeremy took a few pictures on his phone including the one attached. 

Just as we were preparing to listen to the playing of Taps and then the National Anthem, the man sitting in front of us noticed that the older gentleman two rows in front of us was not standing and joining in the celebrations and cheers.  Upon closer look, it seemed that he wasn't breathing.  I immediately told Jeremy who jumped into action.  In a flash he was down the two rows and assessing the man for signs of life.  He was able to determine that he was still breathing but was unconscious.  Jeremy yelled for someone to call for EMS just as the man's wife came down the aisle.

He asked a few people close by to help him lift the guy and carry him about 8 rows to the concourse to further assist him.  The first professional staff to show up on scene were firefighters but not paramedics so Jeremy continued to be the main paramedic in charge of the scene until other EMS staff arrived.  He stayed with the family to take and report pertinent information to the medics that would then transport him to the hospital.  He also calmed the wife enough to convince her to drive to the hospital so that her car wouldn't be left in the stadium and later towed. 

All of this occurred while the rest of the stadium was watching the emotional rendition of the Star Spangled Banner and seeing the fighter jets fly overhead.  So at a time when the entire stadium and everyone watching on TV was paying tribute not just to our nation but a special tribute to the first responders on 9/11, my husband was being a hero and saving this man's life just like he does every day on duty.  Thankfully he was not on the field today holding a piece of the flag because his services were needed elsewhere.  Divine intervention.

Honey, I am SO very, very proud of you!

Target trip from hell

I often have people tell me they wish I would blog more often.  I would love to but really I only blog when the situation presents itself as a blog-worthy event.  I know everyone has funny and fun things happening every day but about once a week or once every other week I have an experience or a series of experiences that are so freaking funny the only thing TO do is blog about them.  I don't make it up.  I don't encourage it or coach it along.  I just sit back and watch it happen to me/around me/because of me.  I tell it like it is.  And what it is tonight is hilarious.  I could have prevented some of it if I had my mind right (like my father-in-law tells the boys) or get my brain back (like our daycare provider tells the boys). I did neither of these things.  I was on a mission.  I couldn't be stopped.  But it wasn't pretty.  So here's my story....

My goal was to purchase some fun kid gifts for a few underprivileged boys....which I am doing on behalf of someone else so I don't want to take the credit for all of this :)  This task is right up my ally because a) I have two young boys so it's super easy to find something they will like and b) I am a shopaholic.  I'm the right girl for the mission.

I picked the boys up from daycare and before we left we took a quick potty break before we headed to the store.  Leo peed onto his undies and shorts by peeing under the lid but above the potty....so straight through that tiny slot right onto his clothes.  I always ask myself later why I didn't see this disastrous night coming right then and there.  I wiped him off as best as possible with the intention to run home and change his clothes before our shopping trip.  In the time it took me to get to the car and 10 houses down the street to our house I forgot.  Thus  he wore shorts with a pee spot on them the rest of the night.  Every day I see my chances for Mother of the Year slip farther and farther away. 

So to Target we go.  My plan was to buy a few electronic game type things and a few accessories and get out of there.  I know exactly where they are so it should.....SHOULD being the key word.....have been a quick and easy in and out.  It SO WAS NOT!!!

I warned the boys ahead of time that we are buying gifts for kids that don't have toys.  We have lots, they have none or very few, etc, etc.  We are NOT buying toys for us, but we will buy one treat/candy at the register if they are good.  And they were pretty good.  We were able to get all but one of the items at the Target and learned that the other item we needed was at another Target nearby.  Totally doable.  (Totally NOT!). 

We made it all the way to the register without incident.  We actually successfully picked out fun toys for someone other than ourselves without incident.  Big ol' pat on the back!  So they were rewarded with treats.  Fruit snacks for Leo.  Chocolate for Justin.  The kid has never actually had a real full sized candy bar so he was transfixed by the Twix we chose.  Aside from the melted chocolate on his fingers Justin was an absolute angle the whole time!  Couldn't have been more proud of him throughout the next disastrous hour. 

Leo.  Um, not so much.  I let him have about 10 of the fruit snacks and then figured we should stop lest we ruin his dinner.  We are in the check out line.  In fact the girl has already scanned both treats so they could eat them.  Enter:  TOTAL FREAK OUT.  This kid just freaked out.  Bawling and begging for the rest of the fruit snacks.  Let me see if I can paint this picture for you: 

After a day full of daycare and playing outside Leo is filthy. His hands and face are grimy and the tears are just making big dirt stained tears down his face.  He put on bright red Lightening McQueen socks last night before bed and insisted on wearing them to daycare today with his white and blue tennis shoes.  I had a yellow shirt already picked out for him.  So the poor kid is looking a little mismatched as it is and the big fat freak out isn't helping matters. 

So I'm trying to pay.  I was trying to open up a Target debit card for my 5% discount since I was making kind of a large purchase so I'm going through the prompts on the credit card keypad.  For whatever reason, karma probably, it doesn't like me.  When the clerk tries to process the application it gives an error message.  Reflecting back, if I am turned down for a DEBIT card that debits directly from my checking account then it probably means I shouldn't be spending money anyway.  It's like it was in cahoots with my husband to prevent me from spending money....but this wasn't my money anyway.  Remember, I was purchasing these items on behalf of someone else. 

Anywho, the cashier keeps pushing the enter button like 20 times and eventually the whole register shuts down and gives this scary looking error message.  Meanwhile Leo is SCREAMING!  Yup,  this whole time.  So we head to another register to try it again.  Same thing happens.  A different cashier/manager person tries to get it to work with no luck.  By this time I have entered my info on the little key pad about 5 times and it won't work.  Leo continues to cry most of the time alternated with rolling around on the dirty target floor.  Super.  Justin is being ridiculously helpful by trying to distract Leo by playing "we are on a mission" and crawling in and out of the bottom of our cart.  He was thoroughly impressed with himself each time he ended up on the other side of the cart.  Knock yourself out kid!  More crying from Leo. 

I finally just asked Target to give me my 5% discount anyway and let me pay with my own card so I can just get the hell out of there.  Remember I still needed to go to the other Target nearby and purchase the one item they didn't have at this store.  Again, I didn't have my mind right because I thought I could just run in there and do it quickly despite the chaos continuing around me.  So finally they get the stupid card thing to work.  The boys are rewarded for their "patience" with a Target sticker which Leo tries to eat.  I get it.  We haven't had dinner yet, but it's not like he is six months old and puts toys in his mouth!  What the hell is wrong with him?  I know, I know.  It's me.  I needed to just stop what I was doing and feed them dinner.  Hungry boys = cranky boys. 

After almost 25 minutes at the register we are out the door.  Leo asks for fruit snacks again which are denied simply on the principle of it at this point although I know he is hungry.  I can't give into him now after he just screamed in Target for 25 minutes.  (reflection...I should have purchased some other snacks while I stood there in line but I'm just not that smart!)  He asks for gum in the car, he gets it and all is well.  Crying and fits have ceased.  I think we can make our 2nd Target stop.

Silly, silly girl I am.

We hit Target #2 over by Metro North Mall.  As soon as I get the boys out of the car and into the parking lot Leo shouts out of nowhere "MY PEE PEE HURTS!!!" and immediately grabs himself and pushes it down.  What????  Are you kidding me?  So my first thought is that I just don't understand how a 2 year old gets an erection in the Target parking lot (because that's why his pee pee was hurting).  I just don't get it.  I will  never understand how a body part just moves independently of its owner.  My second thought was that this dang 2 year old is getting a hard on by making my life miserable!!!!  I realize that is an inappropriate thought but it is the reality of what I thought.  Some of you are laughing because you've been there.  Others of you have gasped or rolled your eyes at me or if you are like my mother you have pursed your lips together and you are shaking your head.  Whatever.  I stand by my thought that Leo was getting some sort of pleasure in torturing me tonight.  I repeat:  I just don't get it.

We make our way inside and because I am a stupid broad (as someone called me....and my staff... at work today) I forgo the shopping cart.  I  need one thing and one thing only.  I know where it is and I want in and out.  Why, oh why did I not learn my lesson in the first Target?

As we run, well I walked and they ran, towards the toy aisle Leo shouts out that his big toe hurts.  What now?  Are you freaking kidding me? He starts a dramatic limp down the aisle begging me to pick him up.  Why did I not get a cart.  WHHHHYYYYYYYY???????

So I pick up the child and lug him around.  I get the little gadget that I need and head for the front of the store.  Halfway there I realize this particular gadget can only be charged by plugging it into the USB port of a computer....which this underprivileged family DOES NOT HAVE!  I have wasted my trip.  I could have purchased everything at the first Target.  I could just kick myself.  We go back to the toy section (lugging Leo due to new toe injury likely caused by tennis shoes that are too small from last year that he insisted on wearing today) and get a different toy.....one that WAS available at the first Target. 

Then back to the register.  Something about the register setting reminds Leo he should be throwing a fit.  The crying and flopping on the floor commences again.  We pay quickly this time, thankfully, and we head out the door. 

As we get in the car Leo says "Hey, I stopped crying now mom.  I am ready for my special treat."  Sure.  Here's a bag of fruit snacks.  Eat your heart out.  I'm spent.  And thanks for saving the good behavior for the privacy of our car.  I would hate for anyone to think I have any control over anything outside of my own car or home. 

We make the trip home, cram in some dinner and a quick Batman cartoon and prepare for bed.  I am exhausted and haven't eaten dinner myself at this point so I'm not really a happy camper.  Justin's response to my crankiness:  Mom, maybe if you are cranky you should try to go to bed early. 

Yeah, I'll get right on that.  Thanks, buddy. 

Whose your Baby Mommy?

We are big fans of make believe in this house right now.  With a 4 year old and a 2 year old pretty much everything revolves around make believe.  From the good ol' days when Pooties was everyone's favorite imaginary friend to Justin's recent "date" with Batgirl to Leo's fake machine gun noises while his Batman toy attacks Darth Vader we are sporting some huge imaginations around this house. 

For example, Leo insists on being Batdog most evenings complete with growling/barking in place of talking, licking in place of good night kisses, and of course remaining on all fours at all times.  This can make the bedtime routine a little challenging.  He was pretty much Batdog for the last 45 minutes of the night tonight.  He only breaks character to remind me that he is a dog.  "No, mom say 'brush your teeth DOGGIE" whenever I mistakenly ask Leo to do something. "Go potty, doggie."  "Do you want to rock-a-bye, Doggie?" "Say goodnight Doggie."  He even barked at me as I shut his door tonight.

One of their other favorite games right now is to play Baby Justin and Baby Leo.  It's just what it sounds like.  They are baby crazy right now so they want to pretend one of them is a baby.  They want me to hold one of them and cradle him in my arms while the other one lovingly coos and baby talks to his "baby" brother.  They whimper and cry like a baby and drink fake bottles, etc, etc.  Usually this happens right after bath time so they can be swaddled in a bath towel.  They really have a rough life, huh?

And because I am still trying to get back in the running for Mother of Year (after Justin's use of the words freaking and shit all in one weekend), I play along with everything.  I mean EVERYTHING.  I pretend the scribbles are in fact a well drawn spaceship and I knew that all along.  I play with cars, trucks, and numerous transformer/batman/scooby figurines although my car engine noises and my transformer conversations leave something to be desired.  I listen to the stories and give proper oohh's and ahhhh's and scary or surprised faces all on cue.  I dance at the dance parties.  I applaud all of the Lego configurations.  I allow Wrestlemania just about every night and go along with the entire song and dance (sometimes literally) that goes with each wrestling match while silently praying that no one breaks and arm or cracks their head open!

But heaven forbid I be allowed to get in on the whole act.  Tonight I was all cuddled up on Jeremy's lap taking a brief rest before starting dinner.  Justin had to come poke his nose in our peaceful moment and wanted to know what we were doing.  So Jeremy tries to play out one of their favorite games and starts pretending like I am Baby Mommy.  Not, mind you, Baby Mama....although I guess I am that too if you think about it.  So Jeremy starts using the baby voice and cooing in my face.  He is rocking me in his arms as if I'm a baby.  I'm all cuddled up and making little cooing sounds back at him. 

And what do I get for my efforts at make believe?  Justin just looks at us and says "Stop it, Mom.  That's just being ridiculous."  Well, alrighty then.  Baby Mommy got shut down!  Do you think he would like it the next time he "draws" me a picture and I just say "Geez Justin that's just a big pile of scribbles!" Or when he hands me a dandelion should I say "are you freaking kidding me?  that's a weed! get it out of my face."  But no, I am a mother.  So I oblige him by stopping the "ridiculous" Baby Mommy game and get back to the reality of a Thursday evening.  It's ok.  I went into this job willingly and I wouldn't change it for the world!!